


Conversations in a bookshop in Soho in 2011

by Lionessinthedark



Series: An angel and a demon and the real reality [1]
Category: Good Omens (Book) - Fandom, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Good Omens Fusion, Canon - Good Omens (Book & TV Combination), Christmas, Crossover, Earths (as in plural), Edens (as in plural), Good Omens (TV) - Freeform, Good Omens AU, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Lilith (Good Omens) - Freeform, Lilith Ashtoreth, Lilith Ashtoreth is Jesus' 'aunt', M/M, Mentions of Sex, Metafiction, Nativity story - a bit different, Niaphael is a bratty bottom, Niaphael is a pillow princes, Noah's Ark, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Heavenly Virtues, The Gospel of Us (2012) - Freeform, The gospel of us, The passion of port talbot - Freeform, The story of the first Christmas, Unicorns, Zoley has two penises, Zoley is a service-top, Zoley rescuing children, apocadidn't, top/bottom sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-01-04 16:33:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: After having watched Good Omens on Amazon (I did read the book many years ago) I found out that an actor, I had watched before as Nero and as Lycian in the Underworld and a few other places, now was an angel. Michael Sheen has the ability to be a chameleon and to change, so you can hardly recognize him. I saw clips of him in 'Tron' and 'The Queen'. So yes - I am fascinated. I knew David Tennant from 'Doctor Who' and from 'Broadchurch' even if I haven't seen all of it. And then I found this amazing piece of work (thank you 'YouTube') from 2011: The Gospel of US. I have ordered the film, but not received it yet. And it sort of rattled in my head - together with Aziraphale and Crowley. And this story in many parts sort of grew out of that fascination - and became much bigger than intended. But here it is.We will meet two celestial creatures - somehow familiar and there will be other parts of the story - connected to our reality.And please be kind if there are mistakes (there probably will be) because I am not English - and 'Good Omens' belong to Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.Important! This is on hiatus for the moment. Read the last chapter, please!





	1. An inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> This is a cross-over to real life. Or is it? Let’s just pretend.  
And since this story is about real persons/beings, which Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett described and told about in their book ‘Good Omens’, they altered a few things: some names and some locations, but they tried to describe what happened in as much detail as possible – and – if they didn’t have the information, they used their imagination as authors.
> 
> But let us just begin – a please accept that names have been altered – Neil and Terry couldn’t give their friends away, could they?
> 
> I am not sure the timeline is correct – but if we assume that Terry and Neil began writing Good Omens in 1989 – describing in a book what the angel and demon told them had just happened, then Adam must have been born in 1979. And the Apocadidn’t happened in 1990. Or rather – it didn’t happen.

It is the year 2011 – it is summer. In a bookshop in Soho, London, two men are sitting in the back, drinking wine. At first glance they are achingly familiar, and that is an impossibility, because the persons they look like, are persons in a book by Terry and Neil, or in the later made TV-series on Amazon Prime.

As we hear them talk and look closer at them, we discover that they look a bit like the description of ‘Aziraphale’ and ‘Crowley’ from the book. The man with the sun-glasses **_is_** tall and lanky – the typical ectomorph body - and can apparently not sit in a normal way in a chair, but his hair is not black as in the book, nor the impressive shade of red, which David Tennant would later sport in the TV-series. It is a dark auburn and a bit curly and long enough to reach the man’s shoulders. It is tucked back from his face and assembled in a man-bun. The face is a bit different from David Tennant’s too, but the nose is the same aquiline nose as David Tennant’s and the cheekbones are just as sharp. And we can’t see his eyes, as he is wearing sunglasses.

Looking at the other person in the room, it is easy to see that he must indeed have been the inspiration for ‘Aziraphale’, - but only ‘inspiration’ – he has the same build – endomorph – relatively short and sturdy, but a healthy trimmed version, even if it is a tiny bit soft around the middle. A bit softer than the actor Michael Sheen playing him later on. And by coincidence they have the same a bit upturned nose and the same wide smile and perfect teeth. The hair, though, is not so blond, as the actor’s bleached version, but a sandier colour with a hint of red and a bit longer and curlier.

The ways they dress are different too: the auburn man is dressed in black, but not in jeans and a T-shirt and a vest and jacket. He is dressed in black suit trousers and a black sweater with a rather wide neckline – almost a sweater a woman might wear and he is wearing black stud-earrings and black boots – but not snake-skin boots, as described in the book, where the authors even made us doubt if they were boots or Crowley’s feet.

The blond man is more up to date, than the angel ‘Aziraphale’ is described to be. This person is wearing light brown corduroy jeans and a button down shirt, in a pale blue colour and a grey cardigan. No any old fashioned Victorian trousers and a threadbare velvet Victorian vest here. One thing that was totally right, though: he is sporting a tartan butterfly, but it is in vibrant blue and green and not in faint beige and purple shades.

As we listen to their conversation, they do not call each other ‘Angel’ or ‘Zira’ or ‘Azi’ or ‘Crowley’ or ‘my vilely demon’. Not because they are not an angel and a demon, because they most certainly are, but because these are not their names and the angel would never call his companion and friend ‘vilely’ - not anymore at least. And the auburn man never got into the habit of calling his opponent – friend – partner - ‘Angel’. 

If we did zoom out and looked at the store front, we would see a different bookstore compared to the one described in the book or shown in the TV-series.

It was just as cluttered and just as homely, even if it did contain other books than described in the book and shown in the TV-series, but it was bigger and the flat above it was indeed big enough for two persons. There wasn’t a big space in the middle with a summoning circle hidden under a threadbare rug and this bookshop owner did have a modern computer as well as a modern telephone. And he didn’t mind selling books – certain books – to customers. He had books, though, which he wouldn’t sell at all. And his opening hours weren’t as chaotic as the ones in the book and on screen.

And if we looked up a bit – at the sign over the shop windows and over the door, we wouldn’t see “A.Z. Fell and Co”, but instead “N.I. Falla and Co” – because his name was ‘Niaphael’ – and the other ‘man’ would often call him ‘Niafa’ for short - or ‘Nia’.

And then the blond ‘man’ would look at him with a fond smile and say, “You do know my full name, dear Zoley – would it be too much to ask you to use the whole of it?”

And by the way: parked outside the shop is not a vintage Bentley, but a vintage Rolls Royce. It still plays Queen and very seldom anything else, though. And it runs without petrol as well.

As Zoley would often remark, “People sometimes get something right in the books – in the Bible and other books – but they just as often only get half the truth or even less. And I know you are very fond of those two authors. But did they really have to alter that much?”

Niaphael would smile and say, “Sometimes I think they didn’t change enough. People might still recognize us.”

Zoley would smile and look over the rim of his sunglasses and his serpent eyes would glow with mischief, “Na…people would choose to be rather blind. Rather than believing in God and Angels and Demons. And that the world is only 6000 years old. They would cling to their ‘science’ and their firm faith in Earth being almost 3, 5 billion years old. Just take that piece of cliff at Issua in Greenland. The one with the ‘first traces of life’ – something about a special version of carbon. To make that fit into their ‘science’ they would have to pretend that that piece of rock – albeit a large piece – could and would have survived being down in the magma in the inside of Earth 6 or 7 times! This is just as stupid as to believe that an ice-cube could survive several hours in a pot of boiling stew! So people would choose to be blind. But I still don’t understand why Terry and Neil couldn’t write that we kissed and made love after the Apocadidn’t. Their book ‘Good Omens’ is going to be the ‘slowest burn’ of all slow-burn-stories in all of human history, if no one else is going to write a story about immortal beings, who would pine for each other for more than 6000 years!”

“Well..”, said Niaphael, “I was rather slow – and I did hurt you so much. Not daring anything – fearing for punishment from Heaven and Hell. Not so much me – more that they would punish you. They got that right in the book. They might get to a kiss in the sequel, though. They did after all end the book with ‘Aziraphale’ and ‘Crowley’ eating at the Ritz.”

“And the nightingale sang - Don’t forget the nightingale…”, said Zoley.

And they smiled at each other.

“I think I would have liked a bit more about my flat in the book. My flat is cool, but they only described my plants – and used a lot of time describing your bookshop.”, complained Zoley.

Niaphael shook his head, “My shop – yes – but my flat above the shop never got a single word. It was as if they believed me to live down here all the time – in the book, that is. And Neil and Terry have even shared a lot of meals with me in that flat.”

“They might have left it out, not to give too much away about this real angel and real demon?”, suggested Zoley and Niaphael nodded.

Then Zoley frowned, “But now 21 years has passed, since they wrote the book and more than 4 years since they finally gave up making it into a film. And Neil has moved to the United States and Terry is not well..”

Here he stopped and looked at Niaphael, “I don’t suppose we could…?”

“No – even if we could, we are not allowed to do more. We have already stretched and postponed as much as possible. We would catch attention from Below and Above and that would be too risky….”

“And there is no reason ‘to rock the boat’ – Yeah – I know. It is just. You are so fond of him and…” Zoley made a gesture around in the book-shop, “….you even encourage people to buy his books – and Neil’s too – well not the signed copies and not the rare ones, and you have even Terry’s hat and his scarf hanging from the last time he visited, and forgot it, his Alzheimer already showing – but….it is so unfair. And now he is never going to see one of his most beloved books turned into a film. Terry Gilliam – the director – never managed to get the actors, he wanted and now - well Johnny Depp is not in a good place regarding his health – and Robin Williams isn’t either and you have said it yourself that you would prefer English actors to play the roles. But it is not fair that it is now never going to happen.”

And then Zoley pointed an accusatory finger at Niaphael, “And it is NOT because I want to see myself on screen!”

Then he stopped and took a sip from his glass, “Talking about ‘rocking the boat’ – have you heard or seen anything? After all – it is more than 20 years since the Apocadidn’t-happen-after-all – even if I think sometimes that it is happening, just very slowly: financial crisis, pollution, war, and those weird food-stuffs that aren’t food at all and all that focus on getting as thin as possible. One could believe that ‘Famine’ was still working – ‘War’ too – and all that damned plastic in the Oceans would be ‘Pollution’s fault – or Chernobyl and all the other small catastrophes – well if you asked me, I would say that ‘The Four Horse-Persons’ are - if not ‘riding’ - then most certainly taking a stroll through the world.”

The angel shook his head, “No – I haven’t discovered anything, well apart from the things you mentioned, but Humans have always been like that. Now there are just 7 billions of them – their impact is just bigger.”

“And agents from ‘Below’ and ‘Above’?” wanted Zoley to know.

“The same number as always – and no one is bothering us – I think Adam had something to do with that. After all he said, that we shouldn’t worry.”, said Niaphael and he reached out for Zoley’s hand. “And he did repair things as well as he could – with the mind of an 11 year old boy. My body was a bit different – more human – even if I still heal and supposedly still am immortal and I haven’t aged since. And even if my book-shop had other books in it – well at least some of them were different, after he re-created it.”

“And Terry and Neil did burn the bookshop down in the book as well – even if they did leave out so many other things,” said Zoley and then he gave Niaphael’s hand a squeeze, “Somehow Adam changed me as well, I think. Maybe I died over and over again in the burning car? – I never asked him if he already kept an eye on me, whilst I was driving towards Hambleden – That was ‘Tadfield’ in the book, right? The funny thing, though, is that he did repair everything** after** he changed reality – before Satan arrived.”

Zoley paused, frowned and continued, “It is a funny thing – eh? That Adam rejected who he was and still had his powers afterwards. Have you noticed anything?”

Niaphael shook his head and understood immediately what Zoley was thinking about, “No – not even now – as he reaches the age of 33 have I noticed anything and ....”

Zoley frowned again and removed his sunglasses, “Why the age of.......oh...I see...”

Niaphael rose and fetched a Bible, “To return to our conversation earlier, why I was in Port Talbot this Easter – and why on Earth someone would have thought it to be a splendid idea to have an 11 year old peak in his powers in order to start Armageddon – yes ‘33’ was the age Christ had when he was baptized and everything started according to the Plan...”


	2. A visit at Easter

_Niaphael rose and fetched a Bible, “To return to our conversation earlier, why I was in Port Talbot this Easter – and why on Earth someone would have thought it to be a splendid idea to have an 11 year old peak in his powers in order to start Armageddon – yes ‘33’ was the age Christ had when he was baptized and everything started according to the Plan...”_

Zoley was about to say something, but just closed his mouth, paused for a second and said something else instead, “I never understood why Below chose Adam to peak and come to his powers at 11. It doesn’t make sense to have a child to lead Armageddon? I mean – Jesus was in the Temple in Jerusalem and talked their ears off at about that age – but then he just returned to Nazareth and continued living a normal life and became a carpenter, like Josef, and was just a normal bloke until he was old enough – well actually more than old enough – to leave home and make his own decisions. I suppose that his siblings and his ‘father’ and Maria was thinking that he was using an awfully long time to get his things together and settle down and get married OR to start doing what he was supposed to do – with his birth and everything..”

Niaphael just nodded as Zoley continued, “But maybe it was because a child is easier to manipulate?”

He smiled and pointed between him and Niaphael, “And first I bullocksed everything up by giving Adam to the wrong nun, and then she bullocksed further up by switching the wrong children..”

And now he threw his head back and laughed out loud, “And we wasted our time and talents bringing up the wrong child. And the real Anti-Christ got the most normal and perfect upbringing any child could wish for.”

As he raised his head again and stopped giggling, Niaphael was just looking at him.

“What?”

“I can’t help thinking how Adam would have been, if we had raised him? He wouldn’t have had those 3 friends, ‘Pepper’, ‘Wensleydale’ and ‘Brian’ - that is Paprika, Wallace and – well – they didn’t make a pun on that, so - Brian. I think it was them and their loyalty and then strangely enough that little dog, that the Hellhound had turned into, that showed Adam the true values of Earth – and saved us all. Could we have managed that, Nanny Lilith Ashtoreth?”, asked Niaphael.

“Hm...maybe. At least ‘Warlock’ – Olivier - turned out to be a decent young man, despite his parents – or mostly - despite his father. And I like that Neil and Terry sort of planted a seed of doubt in the book about you and I being the Nanny and the Gardener. They purposely wrote it so it could be read either way, and we both had to leave when Olivier turned 6. About time. No one has a nanny still, when they are 6 years old – only in very old books for children. Like the books about Mary Poppins.”

Niaphael smiled at the memory, “And no one lifted an eyebrow as ‘Mr Harrison’ and ‘Mr Cortese’ entered Olivier’s life.”

“Well – I got tired of wearing heels all the time – and of being a woman and almost never have a day off..”, said Zoley.

Niaphael smiled at him, but didn’t say a word.

“What now?”, Zoley frowned.

“You have presented as a woman for longer time before Olivier, Zoley. So...and we did change back to our more usual appearances, when we would meet and be able to talk more freely, without ‘a small pitcher with big ears’ lurking around. But you are right – we had more free time, being Harrison and Cortese – and then Olivier left for Boarding School and our job was done. I just wonder...Did he ever find out?”

“Hm, I think he did. Sort of. At his 11-years birthday. But again – I was dressed as a waiter and you looked nothing like Brother Francis – thank...G....Someone. And not at all as Mr Cortese. But Olivier asked me if I had a sister, who had worked as a Nanny – and I had to invent a distant cousin. That boy was a bit too observant for his own good. In the end he just asked me to give her a greeting and tell her that he missed her. At that point I almost gave myself away. Bringing up a small child – well you somehow connect to them..”

And here Zoley took a deep breath, “You know: feeding them in one end and cleaning the mess from the other end. Cleaning up their vomit, when they are ill – such stuff. Thank ...someone that it is over.” and he took a big gulp from his wine glass and looked away.

Niaphael kindly omitted saying anything. He knew how much Zoley liked children. And how careful he had been with Olivier, carrying him around and humming for him, when he was ill and despite her wild stories and her altered nursery-rhymes, she had cared for him – even more than his parents had ever done.

Zoley looked at Niaphael, “I think that Adam made him forget – somehow. A lot of it. Not all of it. But Adam didn’t want Olivier to take his place in Hambleden and in the Young-household. Adam wanted things to stay – mostly – as they were. And he didn’t change the destiny of the third child either – you know that brat – the real son of that American diplomat. You know – the guy from Hambleden – ‘Greasy’...something. The big bully that somehow ended up somewhat decent after all. Being an expert in tropical fish and American Football.”

Niaphael nodded, “And I am happy that Adam after all did listen to us and Emmeny and Newton, when he had to go through the ‘white waters’ of puberty. I’ll like to think that we made a difference there.”

Zoley began to giggle – they had after all been drinking for several hours and he was not exactly sober, “I like that they turned her name into ‘Anathema Device’ – such a nice pun on her name ‘Emmeny Watnotti’...”

“I never understood that.”, Niaphael confessed.

“Oh come on – Emmeny – as in ‘enemy’ – and Watnotti as in ‘Whatnot’ as in some sort of machinery. ‘Anathema Device’ – brilliant!”

“ And our names?”, wanted Niaphael to know.

“In the book? Well ‘Aziraphale’ – the last part is rather Angelic, right? ‘Raphale’ - almost the same as in your name. And - I don’t know – ‘Azur’ for your eyes, maybe?”

“Hm..and ‘Craw-’ because you were a snake and crawled on the ground and then ‘Crow-’ because of your black wings – that makes sense.”

Zoley smiled again and lifted his glass, “To human fantasy – and imagination, especially Terry’s and Neil’s. They did leave out a lot of things when they wrote the book – but they added so many funny things too.”

Niaphael smiled a fond smile, “So true – but are you thinking of something specific?”

Now Zoley’s smile had turned a bit wicked, _“The M25 London Orbital turned into “the sigil __Odegra in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu”, and means “Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds”…”_ And they made it burst into hellish flames as I needed – I mean - ‘Crowley’ needed to get out of London. But it is and was just a motorway and a total human invention. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t wicked in its own nature and that some lower devil might have inspired the not very practical design, but ‘Odega’ and ‘Ancient Mu’ – that was Terry’s invention.”

“But your car did burn and those biker-idiots with one functioning brain-cell together at the most, and who tried to ride together with The Four Horse-Persons – even if Neil and Gaiman made a wonderful job of giving them imaginary names, which showed how stupid they were – they did end their lives in a huge pile of fish.”

“Yeah, Nia….but it was just an ordinary huge traffic accident – which can be hellish enough – dead people and all – and not caused by some ancient sigil. By the way – Earth – this Earth - isn’t old enough to have had an ‘Ancient Mu’ country – nor a black priesthood praising ‘The Great Beast, devourer of Worlds’ – so yes, my car burned, but it was ‘just’ some petrol-lorries exploding. Bad enough – and I was at the wrong place the wrong time. Honestly – Terry and Neil made it better than the real thing.”

Zoley paused and then he spoke in a low voice, “They did get the fire in the bookshop right, though.”

He looked at Niaphael, “I thought I had lost you – I couldn’t sense you. And somehow it looked like Hellfire, so I thought..”

“That they had managed. Well the source of the fire was divine enough – it was the summoning circle, still activated. It discorporated me and must have aided to the flames from the candle. But an old shop – filled with so many old books. It is rather flammable…”

The two ‘men’ sat in silence and then they spoke at the same time, “I wonder if...”, said Niaphael and Zoley said, “What about...”

And then they just looked at each other and giggled.

“You first...”, said Zoley.

Now Niaphael had a smug expression on his face, “I am seriously thinking about making the book into something with moving pictures..”

“It is called ‘film’, Nia....and it had been attempted in vain and...”

“I know! I am moving things forward – slowly – and only with microscopic miracles. But I think I might have new actors for the roles..”

“But you are not a film-director..”

“No…but I can put suggestions into people’s minds….just like I did recently in Port Talbot.”

“Well – tell me more about that then.”, said Zoley and opened another bottle of wine.

“Well..I went down to Port Talbot last Easter to supervise something I had caught wind of some years ago. Someone was planning on doing a ‘Passion Play’ and....”

“Oh no, Nia – I know you often hate those. Well ‘Oberammergau’ is fairly decent and only every 10th year, and the main focus is actually on the city working together, but you always say that these Passion Plays have a tendency to focus on blood and gore and not the story behind it all. Even if it is a ghastly way to die and it involves a lot of blood. At least Jesus didn’t hang there for three days...”

Zoley’s voice trailed off a bit as he remembered all the crucifixions he had witnessed. The ones before Jesus – and the ones after. Nero had been particularly fond of crucifying people or burning them alive or both at the same time. If Zoley hadn’t known better, he would have thought Emperor Nero to be a demon. But he hadn’t been – just a human being with no empathy at all and just plain cruel. Of course Zoley had written notes to Hell about his influence on both Caligula and Nero, but the truth was that he hadn’t done a thing and actually did help the victims of those two insane Emperors – if not so with much, then at least helping them dying faster.

“I know..” said Niaphael, “....but the one happening in Port Talbot turned out to be fairly decent too. And I didn’t even have to interfere much. Only some microscopic miracles. They managed so perfectly on their own.”

“To make it decent?”

“To make it about their town and to make an open ending and to make something that will grow into something more – to give people hope. That is actually what it is about. Not to make a remake of what happened at Golgotha almost 2000 years ago. There is no reason for repeating that – even if it is done so many places on Earth – not just as recognizable – you know - killing people because of their beliefs.”

He stopped talking and then he continued, “It was actually quite brilliant from ‘Above’ to start a kinder religion – even if it has its flaws – I mean – a new beginning with Jesus. To show that God can be personified in a Human – even if he wasn’t. Human, I mean.”

Zoley looked a bit pained and then he sobered up before he mumbled, “It wasn’t their plan, Nia..”

Niaphael frowned, “What do you mean? It was exactly their plan...wasn’t it?”

Zoley shook his head, “No. But it is a story for another day....But I believe you wanted to tell about Port Talbot last Easter. My story can wait. It has waited for almost 2000 years. It can wait a bit longer. So...Port Talbot?”

Niaphael looked at him and then he sighed. He wanted to respect what Zoley asked for, to hear the story another day. And he wanted to tell about Port Talbot, so he said, “I know we haven’t told each other everything, and we don’t have to, but I am curious and I know we met at Golgotha and we saw Jesus die – I just never got the impression that this wasn’t exactly what Heaven intended.”

“Another day, Nia, it is such a long story – and I would like to hear about Port Talbot and your plans.”

“Very well. So...you know about this actor I am a bit fond of, Michael Sheen..”

Zoley looked at Niaphael and smirked, “Oh yes. The one who played you as Oscar Wilde’s first lover, Robert Ross, yes I know him, and he played Nero in such a way that he freaked the shit out of me. He gave off the same insane vibes as Nero had done – and I admit that that actor managed both to look like Nero and like Robert. Which is quite impressive, because those two did not look like each other at all.

Niaphael sighed, “Must we mention my affair with Oscar Wilde again? I have told you that it was a mistake. I thought I loved him, I was curious about that whole sex-thing and I was so damned lonely since you apparently had decided to sleep that century away. Again, Zoley – I am so sorry for hurting you – and for not realizing that you needed that holy water as a protection.”

“I did try to tell you..”

“I know – and I didn’t listen. I should have, but I didn’t. You even told me – ‘my lot don’t send rude notes’ – you told me in Paris.”

Niaphael went over to Zoley and knelt down in front of him and took his hands in his own, “I didn’t know they had fetched you and had kept you in Hell and tortured you to ‘teach you a lesson’ – and kept a keen eye on you when you were released until you could show them the WW1 and WW2 as your work as a ‘devoted demon’.”

“Took me long enough to get them of my back – and Nia – I didn’t have anything to do with the atrocities during those wars. They were totally human-made.”

“I know – now. But I did suspect you had something to do with it, because I was such a distrusting idiot. And then you came hopping on your feet in the church and saved my books and...”

“And needed you to save me and you, because I couldn’t make big miracles on consecrated ground.”, Zoley smiled at his angel, even if he never called him that.

Then he bent forward and kissed the ‘man’ with the blond curly hair, that did look a bit like Michael Sheen, “Get up, please – the floor is killing your knees – and I don’t like you kneeling. I prefer it the other way around, you know that.”

Niaphael rose and kissed Zoley again, now towering over him as Zoley was still sitting down, “I believe I said I would tell more about Port Talbot, but I wouldn’t mind having you kneeling and maybe bound in those nice new silk ropes, a bit later – if you are amenable?”

“Always!”, answered the demon, a bit out of breath and he had to concentrate to control his arousal and as he looked at the angel, he saw a smirk on his face.

“Bastard!”, he murmured, but couldn’t help seeing that Niaphael had to adjust a part of him a bit. A part that did ruin the lines of his trousers by showing off a slight bulge.

“Hmm..that did backfire a bit, didn’t it?”, he asked, looked pointedly at Niaphael’s crotch and lifted his glass in a salute.

“A bit, I have to admit.”, said Niaphael and lifted his glass too, before he put it down and said, “Well. Port Talbot: I had heard about Michael Sheen being involved in some big project with the National Theatre of Wales. So...I went to the first meeting with the author, the theatre and the director of WildWorks and Michael of course. And I was there.....as a person from Port Talbot. I only needed to make small nudges and make sure that people were positive towards Michael’s suggestions. I only had to make someone zone out a bit and from that moment the idea sort of did build on its own: a modern passion play, but more about what it should be about: a community united making this together. A bit like Oberammergau. When Owen Sheers went into another room I just had to put one or two ideas into his head – and the story was there. It wasn’t really me – but most of all the humans involved. I just nudged a little.”

He smiled at Zoley, “And then I wanted to see what it had become – and I was so positively surprised. To arrive there at Port Talbot – I could feel the love. People’s love for their town and for what they could do as a community. Sometimes towns are too small to have the necessary resources or they are too big to be able to build a feeling of togetherness – but they had managed. It was awesome – to use one of your expressions.”

“Did you have to interfere?”, wanted Zoley to know.

“Only a tiny bit. There were a scene at the river - and they only had 6 sandwiches. They hadn't expected so many people and they were hungry so..."

Zoley smiled, "So you did miracle a bit more food into existence?"

Niaphael looked a bit guilty, "No - I sort of made the food last longer. It was in character with the whole event and...Well it wasn't that noticeable what I did. And later....they had underestimated the strain on Michael Sheen’s body – and he had underestimated it himself. And he was so determined to see it through to the end. He had moments of fear and doubt, but still soldiered on and some people forgot some of their lines, but improvised...and it went well and Michael did need a bit of help, near the end. He had fallen – and that was not acting. I gave him some water and a tiny bit of divine strength, so he could finish.”

Niaphael laughed a bit, “I should have known that he needed to visit the toilet. I could have miracled it away, but he used his safe-word and got a tiny break more, breaking out of his character. I don’t think many noticed.”

Niaphael took his glass and took a sip, “Sometimes I even think that we had entered a different reality. He looked genuinely beaten, lost, wounded and exhausted. But it was acting. Near the end as he was staggering carrying the cross, I heard people saying that they were worried that it was too much for him – they knew of course that the nails would be false, but he would still hang there on the cross and it was such a surprise for them that he could yell all his “I remember..” – and the water from the water-screen behind him with all the projected images – it represented a real danger too. I had to protect him a bit there, so he didn’t get too cold. At a point, just before they crucified him, he looked at people – and at that point I was almost sure that he was going to faint – and I could hear people around me gasping. And then I reached out towards him and didn’t feel exhaustion, just determination and pride. In a good way – because being able to stay in character for such a long time – since Friday morning almost. Such a feat can allow for some pride.”

Niaphael paused and then he said, “When he did throw his hood back and showed that he wasn’t dead, he could have made people do anything. It was such a strong moment – even for not-religious people. And the funny thing is: Michael Sheen is not religious. He says that. He says that he finds it difficult to believe in a God, who can allow such horrendous atrocities that is happening in the world. I can respect that, because he doesn’t have enough information – and I can wait a while to show him that God does in fact exist. I don’t have to do that now. But he would be surprised if he knew what difference his passion play did do in Port Talbot. He somehow showed people the real Jesus – not the miracle-maker – not the walk-on-the-water guy, not the one who returned from the dead. But the kind voice of common sense and the voice of caring about others, which is the ground-stone of Christianity. Well at least as it was thought to be. How it was planned.”

And then he looked a Zoley and saw a weird expression on his face and had to ask, “What is wrong, dear?”

“As I told you – this was not heaven’s plan. Creating a new version of Judaism. Heaven – and Hell - had something entirely different planned.”

“You said so, I know. Is it ‘another day’ now? As in ‘a story for another day’ or...”, asked Niaphael.

Zoley looked at him, ”It is such a long story – and you had other plans, didn’t you?”

Niaphael rose and reached out for the demon, “Only if you want..”

Zoley rose, “I always ‘want’ when it comes to you – always. I have wanted for 6000 years!”

And the two of them went upstairs.


	3. Seven deadly sins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoley and Niaphael talk about sins and virtues.

The next day, they were sitting eating breakfast – that is - Zoley most of all drank milked tea and Niaphael enjoyed a full English breakfast – including fried eggs, sausages, back bacon, tomatoes, mushrooms, fried bread, black pudding and white pudding and hot, buttered toast – and Zoley just looked at him and murmured, “gluttony’ with a teasing smile, which Niaphael chose to ignore until he had finished and dappled his mouth and had sighed with content, “This was a very nicely made breakfast,”

Then he looked sternly at Zoley and said, “Enjoying food is NOT gluttony – it is not gluttony until you steal food from others to get more than your share – and somehow that can be said about half of the world – but if I ate all this and then chose to vomit to get room for more – then it would be gluttony. Over-consumption and not just consumption. Whereas you, dear Zoley...” he continued with a glint in his eye, “... if we look at it like that, you are guilty of Lust, Pride, Envy, Greed and Sloth.”

“I am?...Pray tell..” said Zoley smiling, because he knew that Niaphael didn’t really mean it.

“Well, Lust is easy enough – and I am guilty there too – if we just take the other version of it - ‘fornication’- as in the Church-version of it: two men having sex - and ...”

“No way, Nia. I ‘lust’ for you – I admit that – but I would never as much as look at another person, and haven’t since the Apocadidn’t. So ‘lust’ as in almost being cross-eyed because I can’t wait to make love to you, most certainly ‘guilty’. But I think God doesn’t care which gender is fucking which person as longs as it is with consent and not underage. Somehow I think it is actually more ‘love’ than ‘lust’ – so conclusion: not a sin.”

Niaphael listened and smiled, “Point taken – that leaves ‘Envy’ – because I do remember you saying that you envied me in my ability to control myself last night. And how I could control you. Edging myself and you and make our orgasms better.”

“Guilty, I admit that. And what about Sloth, Pride and Greed?”, wanted Zoley to know.

“Sloth, because you were just lying there, taking everything, I gave to you and Pride because you were a bit proud of being able to obey me like that and .....”

“Oh hello Nia. How could I not be lying there – passive? I was bound with those ropes. And yes – guilty of Pride, since I managed to obey you, and I admit Greed – because I wanted everything and even more of what you gave to me. But you know what?”

“No..I don’t. What are you thinking about?”

“That all those ways of scolding people of ‘the 7 deadly sins’ – they were just made up by men having too much time to think, and over-think stuff and invent things ‘that God might have ordered and said’, because those men had too much leisure time because they made all the rest of humanity – mostly women - do the work, they themselves should have been doing: cooking, mending things, taking care of house and children and the elderly and the sick. A problem with a lot of societies – and religions. How can you blame people of Sloth – if they are ill or overworked? And remember – it was never the wealthy, which didn’t make one minute of honest work in their lives, who were accused of Sloth. And accuse people of feeling Despair – the earlier version of Envy – it is so unfair. To be depressed is not something people choose to be. All the '7 deadly sins’ are just exaggerated normal human feelings – and can be misinterpreted – just like you and I did – albeit playfully - just now.”

Nia looked thoughtful for a moment and said, “I think the same can be said about the ‘7 Virtues’: Chastity – well - there are a lot of double standards here, since it is only a few, which have to follow that rule. Something like _’a young man will have to know how to be with a woman. It is not good if he hasn’t any experience, but the young woman has to be a virgin’_ – and then I’ll just have to ask, where the young man is going to get his lessons? And Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, and Humility...well the angels in Heaven do not follow those, so why do humans expect themselves to do that, without allowing themselves one single flaw?”

“You are right, Nia, – but again, humans are capable of so much more goodness and kindness than angles – and they are so much more capable of evil deeds than all the demons in Hell combined. Just think about the KZ-camps in Germany – or what governments are doing all over the world. In China, where they have just decided that the harmless Falun Gong is a threat against the society and put people in jail if they are following that way of life – and funny enough a lot of those relatively young people die in prison, if their organs are needed for organ transplant. Humans can truly be evil, Nia.”

Niaphael nodded, “But they have free will. Even if you were right about it being easier to have a free will inside a castle than in a hut of mud, humans have a free will to..”

“Not if they are slaves or in prison for no reason. Not everybody in prison is a criminal and not everyone facing a death sentence is guilty, Nia.”

“No – you are so very right, which brings me to the story you promised to tell – about Heaven’s and Hell’s plans? And if it is now, where should we sit? Downstairs?”

“Downstairs would be fine. I have many fond memories about your bookstore, Nia.”

“_Our_ bookstore, now for more than 20 years...”

Zoley smiled, “Our...”

And downstairs they went and positioned themselves comfortably in the big chair and on the sofa – as they had done for years by now. And as always with some good wine within reach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoley begins his story about Jesus - but as always, it ends up in another story - about Zoley and Noah's ark and how angels are the wet dream of every CEO and how humans only get some of the things right in books - including the Bible. And about 'doing an effort'.
> 
> (I have added links if you want to have a look - you'll just have to copy them - I cant make the hyperlinks work properly)

“Well..” began Zoley, “I was summoned to Hell – around 6 BC. I entered the door to Beelzebub’s throne room and on zir throne was Beelzebub, waiting for me. I bowed and said, “_Lord Beelzebub.....you have summoned me.”_

_“I have..”_ said ze, _“Because we have a serious problem. I have from reliable sources that Heaven is cheating, sending Messiah to Earth much too early – and in order to start the Apocalypse.”_

“Well you see, Nia, it was a bit ahead of schedule – or at least according to the Bible, but humans tend to only get some of the things right in their books.”

“But...”

“Please, Nia, there are some very bad memories connected to my story here, so let me just tell it without interruptions. I will try to explain as I tell, all right?”

“Very well. I’ll try to keep my mouth shut, then.”, said Niaphael and smiled.

Zoley smiled back and continued, “Well, I was told that Heaven had cheated and had sent Christ to Earth, much too early. As Beelzebub told me, Hell had got wind of the plan - and I was sent to Bethlehem to put a spanner in the wheel.”

Niaphael opened his mouth to ask something, but then he closed his mouth again, looked at Zoley and smiled and made a movement as if he zipped his mouth shut and Zoley smiled and continued, “I still don’t get all that travelling around to ‘in order to be numbered’. I mean – the Romans were so efficient in so many ways and could write – so why all this travelling around to get to the town of your forefathers? They could just as well have counted Josef and his family in Nazareth and just have written a ‘Beth’ beside him and his family for ‘Bethlehem’. So stupid. And another thing: people have been thinking too much about ‘_the time came for her to give birth. And she had her first son; and folding him in linen, she put him to rest in the place where the cattle had their food, because there was no room for them in the house.’ – _and made so many stupid naiveté scenes with a stable in a cave the middle of nowhere and Mary giving birth with only an incompetent Joseph as a midwife! Of course she wasn’t in a stable all alone in the middle of nowhere!”

Zoley took a sip of his wine and continued, “You see, Nia, Joseph had tons of family in Bethlehem and Joseph and Mary were staying with family. No surprise there. And Mary and Joseph were just installed in the quietest place in one of the family town-houses. The stable-area downstairs with all the noisy family up the stairs on the first floor. Just like every house was build then: A wall all around the house, an entrance, a yard, a kitchen area downstairs, ladders or stairs to the upstairs with the family rooms, and around the yard: the rooms for the animals: sheep and goats and maybe a single cow - The animals had been taken away – either out in the fields by the town-shepherds or put into other houses with more room. It was nice and clean – and with fresh hay and of course Mary had brought the necessary clothing for a little boy with her – she was not stupid, they were not poor and she had help during her giving birth. Jesus was not wrapped in rags! And another thing: it was not around solstice. The shepherds were out in the fields, because it was bloody springtime and time to keep an eye on the lambs and the kids of the goats.”

Zoley took another sip of the wine and continued, “I arrived a few days after she had given birth – and no, Nia, I wasn’t going to kill him. I don’t kill children!”

Now Niaphael couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore, “I know. You saved how many children when the Flood came?”

Zoley was silent for a moment and then he continued, “You knew?”

“Of course I knew. You were a red-bellied black-snake – they are Australian! And you had told me about the other Earths and Edens, so an Australian snake had nothing whatever to do on Noah’s ark. I saw you and your unusually large litter of small snake-little-ones. How many did you manage to save?”

Zoley looked at Niaphael with his mouth open, “You knew – and never gave me away?”

“Why should I? I didn’t like children being killed as well and I could easily pretend that I hadn’t seen you. Heaven never found out, because I might have helped hiding you.”

Zoley shook his head, “I managed to save 42. The bigger children carried the smaller ones, as we ran towards the ark in the rain. I couldn’t save the newborns. I didn’t have enough arms. The babies had to be at least a few months old, if I should be able to keep them alive.”

He smiled bitterly at Niaphael, “They were the first refugee children on Earth – but unfortunately not the last – and refugee children know what is good for them. Even the babies: duck your head down – stay quiet – don’t cry - be alert – don’t complain – and learn to trust even the weirdest people – and distrust others.”

He smiled – even if was a sad smile, “For a while there were children walking here on Earth, who maybe would have been able to tell that they had been kept alive on a mixture of milk from a lot of female animals. Not one single animal did mind, when I tried to milk them. Human children can survive on the milk from different species: cow, sheep, goat, camel – if it is just diluted and a splash of honey added. And the rest of the preparation of that milk would have to need a tiny miracle from me to keep it clean – after all we were hiding in the bottom of the ark - together with the ‘unclean’ animals. Not the most sanitary place. Some of the elder children had brought some tiny ceramic cups for their smaller siblings and had told me about the milk from other animals. So I did learn something new, too. And no – there were not just two of every animal – male and female – at least they caught that, writing the Bible: “_Of every clean beast you will take seven males and seven females, and of the beasts which are not clean, two, the male and his female; And of the birds of the air, seven males and seven females, so that their seed may still be living on the face of the earth.”.._” – so it was easy to find sources for milk.

(Ancient sippy cups (https://www.ancient-origins.net/news-history-archaeology/baby-bottles-0012631))

Niaphael smiled, “And yet you didn’t get that ‘female’ – ‘male’ thing about the unicorns.”

Zoley blushed a bit, “No – I hadn’t connected the dots about sex and reproduction. Not then. And didn’t quite understand the organs for reproduction. Which reminds me:. Did you have the dangling male bits standing there on the walls of Eden? Had you ‘made an effort’?”

Now it was Niaphael’s turn to blush a bit, “No.....they weren’t necessary before I had to have others close to me – either in public baths or for fitting clothes. It is not that I would ever have to do number one or be doing number 2..”

“Oh for...someone’s sake, Nia, call it by the right names: ‘piss’ and ‘shit’ – or if you would prefer: ‘pee’ and ‘stools’. This is not Victorian times and not kinder garden.”

And then he began to giggle, “I wonder how long it took Gabriel to figure out to have the right bits without scaring the living shit out of his tailor?”

And Niaphael giggled too.

Then Zoley smirked, “I didn’t have the parts then –on the wall - which was probably a good idea.”

Niaphael frowned, “Why?”

“I was a snake – and not so good at being a human-shaped organism. I might have got confused.” And there was his smirk again.

“I don’t understand?”

“Find a book about male snakes, Nia, or google it. I’ll make some tea – it is a long story. The one about Jesus. And I don’t want to drink that much vine”, said Zoley teasingly and left.

When he returned with the tea-tray and the freshly made tea and biscuits, Niaphael was sitting at the computer and was blushing a bit and he turned around towards Zoley and smirked, “Two penises - honestly, Zoley, why did you never tell me? It could be fun!”

(https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/02/snakes-alligators-reptiles-genitalia-animals/)

Zoley almost dropped the tea-tray, “Ngk!”...then he swallowed and said, “Are...are you serious, Nia?”

“Yes..why not? You do know I like to be filled. I am a bit greedy – we have established that.”

And Zoley could only sit down and blink. He should have known. Niaphael was a hedonist after all and only his iron-strong will prevented him from going full Roman-orgy all the time.

“....K....”, said Zoley and then he tried again, “...hee...we...I didn’t..eh that is ...I....Next time, Nia. I promise.” – and he willed his sudden erection of one(!) penis away.

“Good...”, said Niaphael, took a sip of his tea and then he stopped and asked, “Where did those children end up? You couldn’t let them stay with Noah and his family. They would have noticed.” Just sitting there sipping his tea and having a conversation about children and Noah and ......As if he hadn’t just said that he would like to be fucked with two penises, belonging to one single demon, and that at the same time.

Zoley took a deep breath and a sip of his tea and said, “I brought them to China. There were these valleys where an illness had taken a lot of children – more than 80 had died and...”

“Was that the region of China where they saw you as a god?”

“Oh buggering Hell – you knew about that too, Nia?”

“Well – dear Zoley – it is not that difficult to put two and two together when the people back then were so kind to make drawings of their ‘Naga’ – their Fu Xi or Nü Wa – and you were presenting as a woman back then from time to time. And they were good painters – the paintings did resemble you. There were not so many red-haired Chinese people back then - and not now and they had painted their Naga with red hair.. What happened?”

“Well – a lot of children died - measles, I think it was - and I brought children to the valleys. If you make a scientific study of those people of China – even in now 2011 – well you’ll find that they do carry Caucasian genes. They are the descendants of those children.”

(https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/8154490/Chinese-villagers-descended-from-Roman-soldiers.html)

“I didn’t intend to create a religion, honestly, Nia. But I was caught mid-change – in a cave – by some of the people and then they returned with gifts – and beverage and fruits and I was sort of stuck and – well wanted to help. Only miniature miracles – but they were ever so grateful. So....I did try to save the children, but I didn’t have my former healing abilities...”

“That you had had as Raphael....”, interrupted Niaphael and then he continued, “I am sorry...”

“No, Nia...it is all right. I can’t keep on denying who I was. Somehow it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to do. I do remember a bit about being Raphael. I think it is a mistake that I can remember anything at all. How could you know? That I was Raphael? I know, that I have asked you before and you have mentioned it.”

“Your feelings about kids. That you couldn’t tolerate to see them being harmed. Not even Antichrist. I was the one, who tried to kill him – even if I probably wouldn’t have succeeded – not even with that ‘death-tuba’ belonging to Shadwell. And another thing: the Archangels – with capital ‘A’ – the CEO’s of heaven. There were supposed to be four of them. Gabriel as the boss, and his nearest associates: Michael, Uriel and then the fourth – it should have been Raphael and not Sandalphon, who is just a little shit – a bureaucrat of the worst kind – a calculator and an excel-spreadsheet on two legs – and a right on cruel one too. He was the one responsible for the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. And that little cruel shit, which looked too much like a Mafia-boss, did enjoy every moment of it. So...a remarkable lack of ‘Raphael’ in that group. It sort of gave it away, didn’t it? Since I could vaguely remember another Archangel standing beside Gabriel and Uriel and Michael, who weren’t such pompous pricks then, there must have been another angel. Michael, Gabriel and Uriel were even dressed differently and Heaven wasn’t such a cold and unforgiving place back then. But maybe I wasn’t supposed to remember that either.”, said Niaphael.

Zoley frowned and nodded, “Yeah..there is something fundamentally wrong with Heaven these days. It has turned into a bureaucratic nightmare of epic proportions. Something that even the most zealous civil servant in the former Eastern Germany could be envious of. The absurdity of forms to be filled for even the tiniest request. I do remember your anxious exclamations of ‘There will be paperwork’ – something to be feared so much, that you sometimes right out would prefer to just to be discorporated and just be given a random body or would prefer a demonic miracle from me to avoid it. And angles as a workforce are the wet dream of every CEO.”

Niaphael frowned, “What do you mean?”

“Well – think about it: they can work 24/7 – they don’t need lunch-breaks – or breaks to go to the loo. They don’t eat and don’t have bodily fluids or solids they need to deposit. They do not need closing-times and they don’t need sleep. They don’t need time for family - because they don’t have any - or for going home – because they don’t have their own houses or apartments. They don’t need time for leisure activities – because there are none. Heaven is actually more Hell in that regard. At least in Hell – when you have finished your pile of paper-work – and they are sometimes so inefficient, your bosses – that you can get away with claiming the whole stack of documents being damaged by leaking pipes – and then just toss them in the nearest pit of burning sulfur. You could fill them with “_Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua_” and not a single demon or Duke of Hell would ever find out as not a single soul would ever read a fucking word of what you are writing. As long as the piles on your desk look efficiently large enough before you start and significant small enough, when you finish, you can have time off. And go and watch some poor souls being tortured or watch some burning sulfur.”

Niaphael nodded, “You are right. Something most certainly has changed. But I find that my memories about how it was before in Heaven - well they are filled with holes.”

“Because the assholes use mind-control and erase unpleasant memories and then ‘everything is just tickity-boo and as it has always been.”, sneered Zoley and continued, “Even Hell is more decent like that – our memories are traumatic, but we are allowed to keep them.”

“Which sometimes can be crueler than forgetting...”, said Niaphael.

“No-no-no....don’t defend that mind-erasing practice. If I want to forget bad memories, I would prefer to do the forgetting myself, thank you very much, Nia. I don’t want anyone to decide which memories I am allowed to keep and what not. Which brings me to my story about Yeshu-ben-Joseph – and how Heaven didn’t get the out-come they had planned.”

(and now we would have to get back to a time shortly after the Apocadidn’t, in 1990. Otherwise you would never learn about the Earths and Edens, which Zoley and Niaphael talked about, before we continue with the story about Heaven’s failed plan)


	5. Earths and Edens (as in plural)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And a lot of other topics as well. Their first kiss and why Niaphael hadn't tried to kill Zoley at the wall of Eden - and why humans look so different all over the world - and why Niaphael never saw a koala. And why their 'trials' in Hell and Heaven never were described in the book.

About the other Earths and Edens – it had been a conversation shortly after the Apocadidn’t.

And after their trials in Hell and Heaven, which had happened already the next day, right after the Apocadidn't. Well, the event in Heaven had not been a trial. Just a plain elimination. But an event that never ended up in Neil’s and Terry’s book, because the angel and the demon new the dangers of getting things published in a book. This was one story that they would never share with Neil and Terry. Never!

Zoley and Niaphael hadn’t had much time to run away - or rehearse and if Heaven and Hell not had had their heads up their own arses and had taken time to ‘think!’ And ‘plan!’, Zoley and Niaphael would never had gotten away with it.

They had been kidnapped in the park and ‘Zoley’ had been forced to enter a bathtub with holy water after at least an attempt at a trial. And Hell hadn’t tried to hide what they were doing. It had been like in France with the guillotine - a public execution.

Niaphael might have been a bit out of character as demon there, as he had undressed carefully and had folded his clothes nicely with his sunglasses on top of them and had entered the bathtub carefully. He had even asked for a rubber duck and a towel.

It had been different in Heaven. ‘Niaphael’ had been ‘executed’ secretly and only Gabriel, Uriel and Sandalphon had been present. Not Metatron - not any of the Seraphim - only the three of them. And then one of the disposable demons, which actually was not a demon, but a devil - if the word ’demon’ was only to be used about the Fallen. Michael was ‘downstairs’ busy helping executing a demon and the devil was ‘upstairs’ bringing a tiny amount of hellfire. Both things incredible dangerous and beyond stupid.

‘Niaphael’ had been tied to a chair and had then been freed and ‘asked nicely’ to step into the hellfire and ‘die already’. No trial - nothing - just an elimination. Zoley had been furious and had made a huge effort to stay in character as ‘Niaphael’: polite and seemingly scared and yet brave- but couldn’t help blowing a flaming burst of fire against those arseholes, who had tried to kill Niaphael.

And then they had met back on Earth again - and had been left alone. Probably with the help from Adam too.

It took some time before Zoley dared to tell Niaphael, how truly awful the Archangels had been.

And that was the first time he had discovered that something was so totally wrong in Heaven.

“I do remember how I had blisters on my feet after the whole business with the Nazis and the church - but walking on the pristine floors in Heaven - they were only a bit warm. And the little devil didn’t burn his feet either. So how come that a church on Earth could burn my feet and not Heaven?!” Zoley had asked.

Niaphael couldn’t explain that either.

A few days later they had been in Niaphael’s bookshop – drinking wine and Zoley had begun the conversation as they again had talked about blue whales and dolphins and Zoley had just casually mentioned that those animals had never been in the Edens.

Zoley had waved his glass around – and had not been sober at all, as he had slurred, “Sssee, Nia...those big buggersss – blue whalsess and hunchebacky whaleses and all the other big...mammals? Sswimmer-thingies... Fishesss? Ma point issss...they couldn’t hide in the tiny, tiny laksesss of the Edensss – ssso they were outside. Yep! In the big, biggy wet Oceans – together with the fishessss and octopussysss and stuff. See?”

“EdenS? As in plural?”, had Niaphael asked. And he hadn’t been exactly sober either.

\- and Zoley had answered, “Honestly, Nia....yes – ‘plural’ - just assss there have been many, many versions of Earth, before it was almost self sustasy....selfstua....self-sustaining – Do you know how many failed attims...attemptesees – tests! - there were before someone suggesteded that a big, Biig – soo biggy moon might stabilly...stabilyse - stabilise Earth’s tilt?”

Niaphael had just looked at Zoley in chock, “But....but..”, he stammered. And then he had suggested that they sobered up – and they did. The usual way, by expelling the alcohol out of their bodies and back into the bottles. They had once – and only once – made the mistake of trying to drink it again. It had NOT been a good idea! Somehow the wine had managed to pick up flavours from the passage through their bodies. So...NOT a good idea! Unless they would want to feel very nauseatic.

Zoley had shaken his head, “Oh bugger – I hate that Heaven finds it to be such a good idea to erase painful memories. It takes the good stuff away too. Nia...you have painted watercolour paintings before, right?”

“I have, but...”

“So – what do you do if they didn’t turn out the way you expected – if you made mistakes? Did you just crumble them and toss them in the bin?”

“No....I saved them, because there were bit and pieces that I often liked and I planned to use them for something new – a collage – later on, but again...what does this have to do with....”

“Just a moment, Nia, I’ll explain. See – the Universe is older than this Earth. Not as old as Humans have figured out – they didn’t calculate with ethereal beings being able to move things around and not always having to obey the laws of physics. We can move faster than light, you know. But creating an Earth that would not be a disaster and turn into a snowball or get as hot as Venus, with the greenhouse-effect running amok – well it took some trial and errors. So – finally a stable and almost self-sustaining - and - for several reasons ‘geological active’ Earth with a huge magnetic core – and with a stable tilt and a Moon– was formed. Sort of ‘standing on the shoulders’ of former not so efficient Earths. And then life was added– with a lot of trial and error too. Life had almost died out at 7 occasions. And every time the slate was whipped clean, there were bits and pieces recycled, when the new Earth was build. That is why this last version of Earth contains bit and pieces of older versions – including older versions of life-forms as well and why human scientists made the math of ‘two and two equals five’ and figuring out that Earth was actually almost 4,5 billion years old - but got it so totally wrong.”

“I see, “, had Niaphael said and Zoley had continued, “And it doesn’t take much cleverness – unless your memories have been fiddled with, Nia, to find out that the timeline doesn’t fit. When Earth is only 6000 years old and Adam and Eve were thrown out of Eden shortly after it was created – when should humans and angels have had a time to – the diplomatic version would be ‘breed’ – the not so diplomatic version would be ‘fuck’ and make the Nepihlims? And how should I have been able to be ‘Raphael – the healer and patron of children’ before any of Eve’s children had been born? I had been ‘Fallen’ long before this Earth was made and Adam and Eve were created and put into Eden. And one thing more – and I am sorry to bring it up – but Nia, when you were demoted..”

“You knew?”, had Niaphael whispered and had closed his eyes.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Nia. But ‘Principalities’ weren’t really needed or created before Earth had a population and pieces of land that would become kingdoms. But you were smarter than me – you did learn your lesson. I didn’t and...”

Niaphael had looked at Zoley, “Of course! Archangels didn’t create stars – you were something else before you became an archangel, weren’t you?”

Zoley had looked at Niaphael, “I was. I was a Seraphim, Nia. An architect – a creator of stars. I don’t remember much. And then I did something truly awful and was demoted to an archangel and I continued being stupid on a level of epic proportions - and ‘Fell’. You knew I had been an archangel, before I fell?”

“I knew – I just didn’t want to bring it up. Sore point and all. You were Raphael, and we have talked about this before. I just didn’t want to bring it up again.”

Zoley smiled, “Thank you. And...I am not sure – you know: ‘mind-control’ and ‘erasing of memories’. That is part of the punishment. I know, I must have done something terrible, since I was demoted and then ‘Fell’ – and it must truly have been abhorrent, what I did. But I don’t remember what I did – and that could have made me bitter and resentful and have made me hate God, because I would have felt ‘The Fall’ to be so unjust – just like the rest of the inhabitants of Hell feel about their Fall, I suppose. It is not something we talk about, you see. The problem is that I think someone failed at erasing my memories – I do remember stuff. Not that it makes it easier for me, but I do remember things – like creating the Alpha Centauri binary star system and other stuff – and...I still try to talk to Her. Which is stupid, because She would never forgive me. Forgiveness is for humans. Not fallen angels. We are ‘unforgivable’.....I just wonder what we did?”

Niaphael had nodded, “We were told so many things about the ‘fallen’ angels – and I think a lot of it was lies. And you are right – something is wrong. I remember ‘stuff’ as you call it, too. I was demoted – and I suppose I wasn’t supposed to remember being anything else than a ‘Principality’...”.

Niaphael had sighed and had reached his hand out towards Zoley and had taken it and had continued, “You are right – about people getting some things right in their books and in the Bible. I was a Cherubim – as it says in the Bible: “_and She placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.” _– so yes, I was demoted, because I failed to protect the tree of knowledge and because I gave away the flaming sword.”

“It was my fault then – wasn’t it?”, had Zoley wanted to know and had gone down on his knees in front of Niaphael and had buried his head in his hands and then he had looked up at Niaphael, “How can you not hate me? Why didn’t you smite me when I approached you on the wall of Eden?”

“Come up here, Zoley. I didn’t smite you for several reasons. You were kind and curious. I needed someone to talk to. And I recognized the snake that had just been around and who had rested its head in my lap. Why should I smite you?”

Zoley had risen and had sat down beside Niaphael and had taken his hand again and caressed it as he had spoken, “Because I was a demon. That used to be reason enough. All the other angels in all the other Edens did smite me a lot of times – both as I was just a snake and...”

“Why would they kill a snake?”, Niaphael had been shocked, “Snakes were just one of Her creatures as well. Why kill them? That would have been so wrong!”

“Maybe...I dunno – maybe they could sense that I was a demon? And in every Eden they all searched for me after their ‘Eve’ and ‘Adam’ had eaten the apple and they killed me the moment, they found me. I was surprised when ‘Eve’ and ‘Adam’ were thrown out of the first Eden, but then I sort of suspected it in the next Edens – and I still didn’t get away in time from the angry angles. It wasn’t easy to hide and then I just wanted to get it over with and just return to Hell to get a new body. Even if the smiting did damage my soul and I needed a rest and some reparation afterwards.”

Niaphael had looked at Zoley with a frown and a sudden understanding, “You expected me to kill you – there on the wall. That is why you changed in front of me? Terry and Neil didn’t get that right. They wrote as if you were a snake all the time, when we had that conversation.”

“Well, I could hardly hide that I wasn’t an angel, could I, Nia? And then I could just as well get it over with. But you didn’t have the sword – and you were nice – and worried. You were the only angel, who had made a hole in the wall as well, so Adam and Eve didn’t have to face the other angels.”

“I was afraid what they would do to them. Adam and Eve had been disobedient towards God and...” had Niaphael explained.

Zoley had nodded, “But that made you different from all the other angels. Not smiting me and protecting Eve and Adam...and even protecting me against the rain – even if Neil and Terry didn’t describe that.”

“But Adam and Eve needed protection! She was pregnant and some of the animals were now outside Eden and had changed: now the lion would try – and succeed – in killing the lamb and eat it. And humans had no weapons – not then.”

Zoley had nodded and had said, “Well – and you were the only one thinking about that. So unfair that you should get demoted because of that affair with the flaming-sword-give-away. Not one single other angel got demoted because of the apple-eating in the other Edens. Only you. So unfair.”

Niaphael had smiled, “Unless it was a part of Her ‘Ineffable Plan’?”

Zoley had smiled back, “If you and I were a part of it – and being alive now – and having averted the Armageddon – then it is worth it, I suppose.”

And they had toasted and smiled at each other and allowed their hands to touch. It was before they had dared to kiss and be more intimate. Hesitating at first – because what would happen? It turned out that there were no unpleasant or lethal side effects by holding hands, kissing or even getting more intimate. So maybe She had planned something like that all along? After all: She was sitting in a pitch-dark room, dealing out blank cards, playing a game, where she was the only one knowing the rules. And She was smiling all the time.

Then Niaphael had put his glass down and said, “Edens – and older Earths - I would like to know a little more about that.”

And Zoley, who could never deny his Angel anything had sighed and rubbed his eyes and had said, “Well – ‘Earth’ first – finally one had been made that sort of worked – mostly - and life was planted. That version of Earth became the template for later versions as well. But in some of those attempts life never got longer than one-celled organisms. For a long time – it sort of stagnated - things didn’t really develop beyond that. Photosynthesis and respiration did work, but the DNA was too fragile. The small organisms died too fast and too easily. Then - if we look at it the human way – there was quite a success around prokaryotes and oxygen in the air so life could survive on dry land and vertebras in Ordovician and Silurian versions of Earth. Next success – next Earth - was Triassic – with the beginning of Dinosaurs. But they stagnated too. Clean slate – and it was never a meteor near Mexico. Just one of the usual celestial weapons. There were some promising creatures running around the feet of the dinos and they got a bit more time and development and were the next base – mostly those walking on two legs. Looking a bit like some of the simpler forms some angels preferred. The Humans nowadays call them ‘Ergaster’ – I think – but somehow the brains of ‘Ergaster’ never got beyond ‘dumb as a doornail’. They would just have looked at the tree with the fruits of knowledge and had grunted, “Not allowed” and being satisfied with that, and just kept on making their stone-axes without shafts.”

Zoley had smiled and had continued, “So – new attempt. This time more successful – I think humans called them ‘Heidelbergensis’ and ‘Neanderthal’ and then the whole thing became unstable and someone didn’t correct it in time and Earth ended up in a new Ice-age. So - last attempt – building the new humans on a small surviving group from Eastern Africa and a few other places on Earth. A new fresh Earth was made. And there was picking out bases for new animals as well. Sort of mixing the cards and dealing a new hand. Seven Edens were made on this new and improved Earth: one Eden in the northern part of America. One in the southern part. One in North Europe. One in China – or what became ‘China’. One in Australia. One in India and the last one in what is now Sahara. That is why you never saw a panther or an anaconda in your Eden, Nia, nor an ice-bear or a reindeer. Never a panda, a kangaroo or a tiger, nor a koala. Different animals in each Eden – and ‘Adam’ and ‘Eve’ looking different too, being the forefathers of the different looking people on Earth. Same base – different looks. And despite the Cherubim not giving any protection, those humans survived and began to, as it says “crescite et multiplicamini’ – “breed _abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.”_ \- and especially they did that after the Flood.

“Well – they have obeyed that order a bit too much, haven’t they?”, had Niaphael said and Zoley had nodded and Niaphael had asked, “And you were sent to tempt the Eves and Adams to eat the fruit of knowledge?”

“In every single Eden – and I succeeded in every one of them.”

Zoley hadn’t been able to hide a sliver of pride in his voice.

“Even if you were smitten by the angels?” had Niaphael asked.

“It happened in every single Eden, apart from the last, where I met a different angel, who preferred to disobey God a little in order to protect humans. And became my friend, as I his, even if it took some time for us to figure it out. And that was maybe what She had planned all along. Because somehow we – together with the humans and Adam – thwarted the Apocalypse.”

“Cheers to that..” had Niaphael said and they had both emptied their glass of wine and had reached out for each other – hesitantly - had intertwined their hands, had looked into each other’s eyes and had kissed for the first time. Carefully and almost not touching. Then they had stopped and had smiled at each other.

\- and that had been the end of Zoley’s narration about the Edens and Earths. As in plural.


	6. Bethlehem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoley tries to tell his story about Jesus. We learn about how he managed to get close to the family. And we meet Lilith Ashtoreth for the first time. Not that Zoley hadn't been a Nanny before - with all that business saving children from the Flood, but this is the first time we hear the name.

Well - back to the year 2011 again:

“So..” continued Zoley, “I arrived in Bethlehem a few days after Jesus – Yeshu – had been born. I was a woman – it was easier to hide my eyes, wearing a thin veil over the top of my face after the customs of some nomadic people and I pretended to be one of those women. Wearing a black abaya and painted with henna on my hands and feet and wearing bracelets. Looking not so different from some other women from the region around Bethlehem. And again – people made that journey so much longer in the Bible than it actually took. Mary was pregnant and was sitting on a donkey and they moved slowly – but it didn’t take weeks. Just 4 days with a lot of pauses. And she had a few days to recover, before she gave birth. Well….I had put into the heads of some of the women in Bethlehem, that I had been there for almost a year and that I was very good with small children and as a midwife. And then I just had to wait. Because Mary had none of her own female relatives in Bethlehem – and then there was the question of her pregnancy. Josef knew that he hadn’t touched her – and he had been on the verge of breaking the betrothal– despite him being a decent fellow and then he had been visited by an angel. The same angel, who told May that she had been selected. I always imagined Gabriel in his most scaring manner. It shows what stuff Mary was made off – as it later was seen too – that she didn’t went insane. Gabriel is such an idiot – even if his approach towards humans has improved.”

Niaphael giggled, “_Fear not, humans..”_ in his most booming voice and in his true appearance. He would have scared the living crap out of the shepherds – and I suppose he did.”

“He did, Nia! You should have heard the stories that were told, when the poor shepherds tried to drown their fear in wine. A lot of it. Josef later told me – oh and one thing more. Illustrations of Josef and Maria often send out some unpleasant sort of pedophilia-vibes as if Josef was 30 years older than Mary. She was 15 – a bit young, but robust and not some fragile little girl. She was a woman, even if she was a bit young – and Josef was only 3 years older than her and not 30. But….Josef was of good family – not poor but well-established – and so had Mary been – of ‘good family’ – until she got pregnant. I heard someone discuss if she had been raped. It wasn’t totally unheard of – Roman soldiers did drink wine and got horny even if they would probably face a severe punishment, because the governors would like to keep things smooth and avoid riots. The result was that even if Josef had accepted to ‘father’ a child that wasn’t his, his family in Bethlehem was a bit cool towards Mary. They would help – of course they would. But they wouldn’t be warm and welcoming and help her beyond their duty. And Mary held her head high – she knew she had done nothing wrong – but accepted their coldness and was looking forward to return home to her own family and town – even if people would talk. Little would she know that it would take years before she would see her town and family again.”

“Why..”, began Niaphael and then he stopped and said, “Oh….I see. Please continue.”

And then Zoley continued his narration (and at a point his name would change and we would stick to that for the rest of his narration)

Mary was sitting in the yard, trying to calm her crying child. He was so hungry and she had milk enough – almost too much – and it was as if it clogged and he couldn’t drink it – couldn’t suck. He was hungry and nothing she tried would help. The women of Josef’s family had tried to help, but in vain and they had sent for that strange nomad woman who was so good with children.

Mary looked up as she saw a silhouette in the door opening.

“May I enter?”, the figure asked with a soft voice - rather deep for a woman, and the woman was rather tall, standing there. It must be that nomad woman, the others had mentioned.

“Of course – I am just a guest here”, said Mary.

“Never the less..”The tall woman bowed a bit in order to enter and had left her sandals outside. Her elegant feet were decorated with henna – and so were her hands – long elegant hands. She had rings on her toes and fingers as well. She was dressed in a black abaya – an a bit unusual colour, most women would use blue or brown– and her eye area was covered with a leather mask with a very thin black veil hiding her eyes. The veil from the abaya wasn’t so tight that her hair couldn’t be seen and it was flaming red. Rather unusual too and so was the veil in front of her eyes, as nomad women usually covered their nose and mouth and not their eyes. At least as far as Mary knew and had seen.

The woman smiled, “Have you seen enough?”

And Mary blushed and looked away. She had been very rude, looking for such a long time at the woman and she was embarrassed.

“I am sorry, “, she mumbled and looked down before she looked up again, “I should be able to be more polite.” She tried to rise but the woman showed her that she should remain sitting, “Where are my manners? Welcome to this house. My name is Miryam-bat-Joachim. Some people call me Mary.”

“It is all right – I do look different. I am Lilith-bat-Ashtoreth - if I would call myself something the Jewish way. It is a very long time since I could say I was the daughter of someone. And that in a place far away from here. So….what is wrong?” (Zoley didn’t strictly seen lie - just omitted the truth a bit.)

“It is as if my milk clogs and my breast get too full and then he can’t suck. I have tried everything and it worked so nicely in the beginning – and now my breasts hurt so much and he is so hungry.” Mary said looking worried.

The woman bowed her head and looked at the little boy and touched the top of his head, “Yes he is hungry and thirsty. That soft spot on the top of the head sink a bit, when they are thirsting. So – him first.”

Mary watched as the woman took pots with lids out of the bag, she had brought with her, “What do you have there? If it is not rude to ask?”, said Mary.

“No it is fine. This is cow-milk - well just in one of them - and now I just need some water, which have been boiled and cooled down again. And a tiny bit of honey.” And the woman rose with elegant movements and walked towards the kitchen area, where Joseph’s aunt was sitting. The two women talked quietly with each other and to her own surprise the aunt agreed at giving some of her honey comb to Mary’s child and even a small piece of it for Mary and ‘Lilith’ as she knew was the name of that nomad woman. Zoley smiled as she returned with a pot of freshly cooked water and those pieces of honey comb.

“Here….” she said and gave Mary a piece, “Chew it and keep the wax afterwards and don’t throw it away. It can be used for candles later on.”

Mary took it – she couldn’t really remember that she had tasted it before – not like a piece of wax. Honey was expensive.

She chewed and smiled, “It is very sweet.”

The woman smiled and had opened the lid of one of her pots and began mixing the cow milk with the cooled water and a tiny amount of honey.

Mary looked at her elegant hands, and asked, “Why should the water be boiled? Is it fresh enough when it is from the well?” – She knew of course about the dangers of flood-water – that people could get very ill, drinking it. But from a well?

And Lilith told that even fresh well water could be dangerous for very small children. By boiling it they would take the danger away.

Then Lilith brought forward a weird clay cup and began to pour some of the mixture in it. “This is an attempt. He might be too young. If it doesn’t work, I have other solutions. Do you mind if I give him? You’ll have to put these warm pieces of cloth on your breasts. Your breasts are red and warm - you have ‘breast-disease’ because of the clogged milk.”

May shook her head and moved her clothing so the pieces of cloth could be put on her swollen breasts. She sighed with relief. And watched as Lilith cradled her little boy in her left arm and managed to make him suck of the tiny snout of the clay cup. Tilting it so he wouldn’t get too much at once.

He emptied it rather quickly - he had been thirsty and hungry - and Lilith lifted him so he could burp. Mary watched as the pain in her breasts lessened, “I was told that you were good with children - you are - this is a miracle.”

The woman smiled a bit sadly, “Please don’t say that. I don’t have the same faith as you, but I am forced to obey the same laws. Looking as I am - tall and without a man or a family to protect me - and having red hair and my eye-condition- it would be easy to accuse me of being possessed. So no…no miracles. Just knowledge about small children.”

Little Jesus was now sleeping and Lilith looked around for the cradle. Mary blushed a bit and showed what Josef had found: a crib with a lot of fresh smelling hay.

“We didn’t bring a cradle - and the single one in this house is still in use. And we are not staying for long. We are going to return to Nazareth soon.”

And Lilith had to remember that she didn’t know that Mary didn’t belong in Bethlehem.

“You said - ‘only a guest’ - so you are not from here?”, she asked.

“No - we had to travel here, because of the ‘numbering’ and because Josef is a descendant of David and thus belonging to Bethlehem.”

Lilith smiled, “Those crazy Romans, eh? But despite all their laws and preference for forms to be filled and taxes to be paid, they have brought Pax Romana.”

“You don’t mind them being here?”

“Well - maybe they are a bit too much, but without them a lot of places and people are abandoned to the whims of a cruel warlord. I am not saying that the emperors or the governors or the soldiers of Rome can’t be cruel - I have seen those poor bodies hanging on the crosses along the roads - but the fights among the mighty have at least seized down. You must remember the stories in the Torah about all the fighting. And there are only victims among the common people, when the mighty fight. They seldom pay themselves.”

Mary nodded. There was a lot of truth in what Lilith said and Mary thought she understood, “You had to flee from such fights, didn’t you?”

Zoley was impressed - Mary was intelligent and able to see connections and she was sharp-witted. How was the expression - oh yes ‘able to talk the legs of an iron pot’.

“I had...” was all she said and Mary understood that Lilith didn’t want to talk about it right now. And changed the subject.

“My breast still hurt and they are as hard as stones, “ said Mary worriedly as she changed the pieces of cloth.

Lilith nodded, “I feared that. There is a solution, but we will have to wait for Joseph to return.”

Mary nodded, “He is searching for a cart of some sorts. A small one that our donkey can pull. Like that we can return faster to Nazareth - as soon as my impurity-time is over.”

She sighed and looked at both Lilith and Joseph’s aunt Adah, “Why is it such a long period where I am considered as ‘impure’? God meant us to have children, so why are we impure when we do his bidding?”

“Hush, Mary..”, said the aunt, “It is written to be like that and we are not to question it.”

“Well..”, said Lilith, “It is not that stupid to rest after a birth. And when it is written, then no one can question it (Well - she thought - apart from me - because God would never care so much about every single little detail about kidneys and fat and which animals can be eaten and whatnot - or how many steps you are allowed to walk on a Sabbath or if you mix milk with meat. And if there are tassels on your clothing or not. She doesn’t care.)

Lilith smiled as she said, “It is like the Sabbath. Imagine if it wasn’t written- then it would have been like in the ancient Egypt, when the Jews were slaves and could be forced to work all 7 days. Now - not every person is so lucky that they can decide over their own time - so they’ll have to work for others. And their employers can’t force them to work without rest, because it is written that the Sabbath should be sacred. The same with ‘impurity’ after birth. It gives the woman time to rest and get well after the strain that a birth is.”

Aunt Adah couldn’t help remarking, “And you are young and strong now, Mary. After a few more births it would be a much needed rest. That snake be damned forever for making Eve eat that apple and get Adam and Eve thrown out of Eden and forcing us women to give birth in pain.”

Lilith made a sound of agreement and then she looked at the aunt and wondered what she would have said and done if she had known that ‘that damned snake’ was sitting in her house.

“I can’t help thinking....Adah-bat-Benaiha. You have children. If you want them to stay away from something. Something valuable. Would you just put it there on the table - in an open case - and then leave it like that and then leave the house and just tell them not to touch it or even look at it?”, asked Lilith.

“No..I think I would do as I usually do - put it in a closed case and op in one of the room upstairs and on a very high shelf - why?”, asked Adah.

And Mary couldn’t help smiling and had to hide her smile with her hand. She could easily see why Lilith asked that question.

“Well - I can’t help thinking that if God truly didn’t want Eve and Adam to find those apples and be tempted - wouldn’t God have put that tree on top of a mountain? Maybe God wanted them to know the difference between god and evil and have knowledge?”

“But...but that is blasphemous thinking, Lilith! I know you are not of our faith, but still.” Aunt Adah was a bit shocked, but had to admit that there was a tiny bit of truth in what Lilith had said.

Lilith continued, “I do not share your religion. That is not to say that I don’t think there is only one God and God created the world and everything in it. But think about it. Eden must have been very boring - there was no work to be done. They had it just like the rich. ‘I want dates’ - and then - whoop - there would be dates to eat. Not worrying about planting the tree - watering it and picking the dates, when they are ripe. Just like the rich can wish for new clothing without giving it a single thought about taking care of sheep, cutting their wool, card it, spin it, colour it and weaving it - or cotton plants or flax. Eve and Adam had nothing to do - no skills they could be proud of, not art to make or no pride in a job well done - a pot, a piece of cloth or a meal.”

Then Lilith stopped and smiled, “But of course if Eve and Adam hadn’t eaten of the apple, they would be just as stupid as sheep - and just be happy doing nothing, I think.”

Adah looked at her, “I just realised something. You can read?”

Lilith smiled, “It was common amongst my people and something we were supposed to learn. Learning your language and then read it - not so difficult either.”

She touched the veil in front of her eyes, “But it put a stain on my eyes so I avoid it by now.”

Adah nodded, “And women seldom have time for reading. We leave that to our boys and men. And talking about work. I’ll go to the market and fetch things for our supper. Would you eat with us tonight, Lillith?”

Lilith looked up and smiled, “I will be honoured. And I’ll help. You could use some help. Mary is still not allowed.”

The aunt nodded. She really appreciated Lilith’s help. And she left.

Lilith rose and fetched a new set of warm pieces of cloth for Mary’s breasts.

“They do not help that much anymore,”, complained Mary, “And what could be done more, that would need Joseph’s help?”

Jesus was still given thinned cow milk from the sippy-cup and seemed to be happy and content.

Lilith hesitated, “You will need the strength from a gown-up to suck out the ‘bad’ milk. And it will have to be spit out. If your little boy drank it, he would be ill.”

“And you want Joseph to suck out the milk?”

“Yes...and he is not here. He is the closest - it would be a bit weird if anyone else would do it.”

Mary looked at the woman she had come to trust and admire. Even if their friendship was so new.

“Could you do it?”, she asked.

For a moment Lilith was scared. Mary’s milk might be holy and destroy her - but on the other hand - she had touched Mary and even little Jesus and nothing had happened, so.....

“I’ll do it. We will have to be upstairs. I don’t want anyone come barging in and get the wrong ideas. I look different. I read - and I ask questions. It would be easy to accuse me of being possessed.”

___________________

The treatment did help - and Mary could see how wrong and unhealthy her milk looked, when Lilith did spit it out. It did burn her mouth a bit - bit she managed to hide it.

Then they went downstairs again - the light was so much better in the yard and Mary was given the last treatment of warm pieces of cloth.

She sighed as she gave them to Mary, “You asked if I had to flee. It is a long time ago now. But a mighty and powerful ruler had decided that some people didn’t deserve to keep on living. I was there - I had come from another place - already then, but had lived among them for a while, and I saw what was going to happen - and I didn’t want the children to die. Grown-ups might be guilty - but children - never! I am not saying that those people were saints. They were just like people mostly are: some nice, some even good and some were arseholes.”

Mary smiled, “So true.”

And Lilith continued, “I ran in the middle of the night. Together with as many children I could find and be able to hide. We had a hiding place and just needed to stay low for a bit more than a month. We had food and water and access to get a bit of milk from cows and sheep and goats. I couldn’t save newborns, but only those who were at least 3 months old - and then the rest were toddlers and up till 12 years as the eldest. Those children did show me the cups for weaning children and we hoped we could use them for the youngest. They showed me a way of carrying children as well - in a sling made of cloth. I managed to carry 4 babies like that - and the eldest did carry two each - as we ran.”

Mary was listening with open mouth - she could hear the pain in Lilith’s voice, when she told that she couldn’t save everybody.

“Did…did every child survive?”, she asked.

“Every single one of them - and I brought them to another place, where people had lost children because of illness. They had new children and the children got new parents, who loved them dearly.”

“Did you ever get children of your own? Because it must have been hard to see them leave.”, asked Mary.

Lilith bowed her head and was silent for a moment, before she continued, “I never married. I did love somebody - but he was so much above me, that it could never be a possibility. Never…. He did see me and was kind enough and even spoke kindly to me. But I am the lowest low compared to him. So …never a possibility.”

She lifted her head and Mary could see her eyes glitter a bit as if they were wet through the thin veil, “I can’t bear children and I could not be with the love of my life. But I cherish every little kind action and kind word from him and carry them deep inside my heart. There is no way I could and can be worthy of him, but I love him even if he will never love me in return - and even if he cannot be allowed to do that either.”

“Oh..”, said Mary and felt sorry for the woman in front of her. She could sense - as she had always been able to - if people were lying - and the woman clearly didn’t tell all of it. But Mary had learned that people ought to be entitled to some privacy and small lies and said nothing.


	7. Lilith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about the time around the first Christmas and an awful lot about the young Lilith Ashtoreth. And we will return to 2011 from time to time, because Niaphael can't help on commenting on Zoley's story from time to time. And sometimes Zoley would have to explain something too. And we learn why 'Lilith Ashtoreth' had chosen that name.

Niaphael interrupted the story here, “You were talking about me, weren’t you?”

Zoley looked at him, “I have never loved anybody but you.”

Niaphael took Zoley’s hands and lifted one of them and kissed the knuckles reverently, “I don’t think I deserve you. I have been so cruel towards you. And I was so stupid - didn’t realize that the ‘background’-love I felt on Earth since Eden - it was not Earth or humans - it was you. But we were told so may lies: _‘demons are pure evil’_ \- ‘_they will try to kill you when they see you’_ \- ‘they _can’t feel anything positive, not love nor friendship, nor kindness - nothing positive’ _\- _‘they hate each other and everybody and enjoy pain’_ \- all that nonsense. Pure propaganda. And the other way around: _‘Angels are ‘Good’ - not matter what they do’_ \- and _‘Angels are ‘Right’ - no matter what they do’_. I treated you like shit - pushed you away repeatedly and you kept on returning to me. I didn’t realize - until far, far too late, the things you did for me. I took you for granted - all the little things - and the big ones: France - the Church - and I just sort of expected you to be at my beck and call. And the few times you asked for favours in return, I rejected you - repeatedly. I didn’t do it because I hated you or wanted to put you down or out of contempt - but that is how it sounded and I broke your heart...”

Zoley now kissed Niaphael’s hands in return, “Are you finished blaming yourself? I have told you that I understood why you did it - out of fear for what ‘Above’ or ‘Below’ might do. To you and to me. I have told you repeatedly that I understand and understood. You had millennia of heavenly conditioning and brainwash to undo, before you could be your true self. I have told you again and again that I forgive you for every hurt and harm you must have done to me. I love you......and I have done it since Eden. You were kind towards the snake - and unbelievably kind towards the demon, who snuck up on you. I still don’t understand why you didn’t smite me or - and now it comes - how you out if unbelievably kindness shielded me against the rain. Terry and Neil never wrote that into the book - just like they left out the part where we avoided the wrath of Heaven and Hell only the day after the Apocadidn’t. I think it is described in the book that you just shielded yourself with your wing - but why me?”

Niaphael caressed Zoley’s hands with his thumbs, “You had helped me back then - we were just talking - you were nice and.....different......from everything I had ever been conditioned into believe about demons and different from how angels would treat me. And I was afraid the rain might hurt you. It was the first ‘rain’ and it came from above. And......I didn’t sense one ounce of threat from you. I now that Terry and Neil wrote that into the book - as if we would discorporate each other regularly - and I appreciate that they have avoided describing how bad you and I were at being respectively a demon and an angel, and how we fooled Heaven and Hell by changing our appearances shortly after the Apocadidn’t. Books are printed and distributed - and some might end up in Heaven or Hell. So I am glad that Neil and Terry didn’t give us away. Didn’t write a single word about how we changed appearances.”

“Well..”, said Zoley and squeezed Niaphael’s hand gently, “So am I. So...should I continue my story?”

“Yes please. I do learn something new, I think. So yes, please.”

_____________________

And Zoley continued, “The aunt had taken a liking to me - so I was often invited to visit. I had to make a living - had to invent a living - so I had become a potter. I used small miracles to re-enforce pots, which I first had bought on the market in Jerusalem - only two hours brisk walk away. And then in my little hut, I had made an oven and had clay - and used first a bit of magic to make the first ones - and then I got the hang of it after only a day. To make the pots durable wasn’t that difficult - after all I know a thing or two about fire. And it was such a hard work for the girls and women to provide all the necessary water for a household. Even if the well is relatively nearby. Even worse if the well is not close or if they have to go to a river to fetch water. It is still such a hard work and so much trouble and prevents girls from going to school all over the world - even now in 2011. Do you know how much water is needed for a family, Nia?”

Niaphael shook his head. He didn’t know.

“Sometimes the girls and women use hours and hours getting the water to provide for the most basic needs of a family. Even now it is over 200 million hours wasted on just getting water. They often walk 6 kilometres or even more and carry 22 litres everyday day to bring clean water home to their families. And to ‘add insult to injury’ back then it was often wasted because of bad pottery. Not burned hard enough so it would break at the smallest bump and then they would have to fetch more water. I could help them by making almost unbreakable pottery for water and cooking. And like that I had a job and a purpose in Bethlehem so I could stick around.”

Zoley smiled, “Mary had told about the shepherds visiting and how there had been too many of them looking in awe of her little child that looked so normal, that she had a few moments of doubt if he really was so special. But the shepherds had told about angles and singing and a bright star on the night sky and Joseph had gone outside and could return and tell that there really was a very bright star to be seen on the dark sky. So...little Jesus must be different.”

Zoley took a deep breath and continued his story:

______________________

Mary looked at Lilith who was sitting next to her, while Mary was breastfeeding her baby, “I have no troubles now. Those pieces of cloth and ...the other treatment....it did work.”

“I am glad to hear that.”, said Lilith

“Does he look normal to you?”, Mary couldn’t help asking. She was worried and felt that something was off and she was afraid what could happen to him - if he looked so different that people would notice. He was just a tiny baby and could easily be harmed.

Lilith looked at him, “Seems rather normal to me.”, she said and wondered herself if Hell had been wrong. There wasn’t much royalty or Heaven about that tiny baby.

“It is just...when I look into his eyes...it is as if a very old soul is looking back at me.”, said Mary.

Lilith smiled, “That is the way a lot of new-borns look at you. I think it is because they can’t see anything clearly yet.”

And Mary felt safer now and smiled at the a bit strange woman, who had been so helpful. She was witty and nice and helpful and Mary didn’t know how she would have coped if that woman hadn’t been there. Mary missed her own extended family - her aunts and cousins and other female members of her family. Being here in Bethlehem had been rather lonely - giving birth and everything and that almost on her own. Well Adah had been helpful, but somehow Lilith with all her experience had been a cliff of stability in a vast lonely ocean.

__________________

Jesus was now 8 days old and Josef was supposed to bring him - not to the temple in Jerusalem, because if every child was supposed to be presented in Jerusalem, every baby would be travelling around in Israel on an almost absurd level. Children were supposed to be presented in the nearest temple - or if not in a temple - then to the nearest rabbi. So Josef went to one of the rabbis in Bethlehem.

Adah was friendlier towards Mary and Josef, but the rest of Josef’s family in Bethlehem was polite enough, but not overly friendly and Mary and Josef looked forward to returning to Nazareth. And had decided to cope on their own as much as possible. And one thing more - Mary and Josef had asked Lilith to come with them to Nazareth.

“I have seen how people look at you”, had Josef said, “They are tolerating you, but nothing more - and that even if you are helping them so much. Come with us - you will have us as approvers for you in Nazareth - and we could really, really use a good potter!”

Lilith had put into peoples’ heads that she had been there for a long time and could help, if anyone had troubles with small children, and of course others would come to her small house and ask for help. Since she herself had created that job, she had helped a few other women and their babies in Bethlehem. Nothing much - she had just taken care of minor illnesses, but it helped her keeping up her lie. So yes - she had helped some women in Bethlehem - or rather - mostly their children.

Lilith went with Josef to the rabbi - Josef would need help with a crying baby, when the operation was over.

(“See Nia - there is one thing more, I never understood, “, said Zoley, “They had rules about not making holes in earlobes or noses. But cutting a vital part of the male anatomy off - that was OK - and I know it is ‘just’ the prepuce - and not as bad as the mutilation some girls had happen to them other places on Earth - but humans were created with that part - and it even manifests, when we ‘make an effort’ - so why cut it off?”)

They had chosen one of the younger rabbis and Josef had entered his house with the little Jesus in his arms. Lilith had just waited outside the house, but the rabbi had stuck his head out and had asked, “Why didn’t you enter?”

“I do not share your faith - I was afraid you might be offended.”

The rabbi hesitated, “Are you ‘unclean’?”

She smiled, “Aren’t all heathens terribly unclean by definition?”

He smiled back with a glint in his eyes, “Oh...well. Have you killed any babies recently? Drunk human blood?”

She laughed, “No...not recently. But I might have offended a law or two of yours.”

“Well - even I do that sometimes - without knowing it. If we search through the Torah or some other texts, there might be something written down somewhere, that I haven’t thought about. So...come in. The little boy is crying and Josef says you have a good influence on him. So please do enter my house. I am Rabbi Chanin-ben-Simon.”

Lilith hesitated a bit before she left her sandals outside and entered. She could feel the heat from the holiness from a temple - so what would the house of a rabbi feel like?

She bowed her head and introduced herself formally, “I am honoured, Rabbi Chanin-ben-Simon. My name is Lilith-bat-Ashtoreth.”

It turned out that she didn’t feel much heat. On the other hand - touching Mary or Jesus - or even Josef didn’t hurt either; Lilith could just feel a faint heat.

(“You see, Nia - they might have been holy, but they weren’t wearing any halos. It could have been useful if they had. Some of the rooms in the houses were rather dimly lit - oil-lamps and all - and they could have used some electricity, but it wouldn’t be invented for the next almost 2000 years - so halos could have come in handy.”)

Jesus was taken out of his swaddle and the procedure was done quickly and as Lilith had found out, this rabbi wasn’t overzealous - some of the others might actually cut too much off - and like that hurting the baby way more than necessary. This Rabbi Chanin was very careful and as the procedure was over, Josef tried to comfort the crying baby - and failed. He looked pleadingly at Lilith, who smiled and took Jesus and carefully cradled him in her left arm as she pointed at her bag and said, “Please give me the jar and the sippy-cup.”

And then Jesus was comforted with a tiny amount of his mother’s milk, which Lilith had brought with her. The Rabbi found the cup very interesting and said, “I have never seen such a cup before. It is brilliant.”

Josef was a bit proud as he said, “Lilith made it. But surely other women must have used it before. Lilith has lived here for more than a year.”

The rabbi looked at her and just said, “Well. I suppose I have not had the chance to watch so many babies without their mothers....” Then he paused and said, “..’Lilith’ - an interesting name. Did you choose it?”

Lilith looked up and studied his face - there was no condemning there - just curiosity and Lilith took a chance, “I heard it when I came to this country a while ago - and it was close to my own name. So was the other name I heard - ‘Ashtoreth’ - it was close to my mother’s name. (And technically it wasn’t a lie - ‘Ashtoreth’ or ‘Astarte’ was the name of a Goddess - and could somehow be a suitable substitute for God’s name.).

Lilith continued, “So I just chose those two names.”

The rabbi nodded, “I see. You must know that some people - schooled people - who had read a lot of other texts than the Torah - they might not like those names, you have chosen.”

“Oh...why not?”

“Because Lilith is considered Adam’s first wife...”

Lilith frowned and then she smiled, “Nonsense - I know enough about your religion. Adam and Eve were the first humans to be created. No ‘Lilith’ was mentioned at all.”

(“I didn’t say a word about Edens, Nia, nor mentioned several Adams and Eves. And I was there - at the Edens - so how humans got that idea about Lilith as Adams first wife into their heads - well - that is beyond me. And by the way - no one of the other ‘Eve’s was given the name ‘Lilith’.....Humans and their ideas!”)

“And some said that Adam and the first woman were created at the same time. She wouldn’t obey Adam and she was rejected and then Eve was created.”, explained the rabbi.

Lilith smiled and laughed a little, “You are testing me. This is nonsense. Well - I can read, you know. And Adam and Eve were created in God’s image. As man and woman. No Lilith in those texts. So...’Ashtoreth’ - is she in the Torah too?”

The rabbi laughed, “She is a goddess - Ashtoreth, Astarte or Isthar - a goddess amongst the Canaanites or Phoenicians. She is a goddess in Egypt or in Mesopotamia, too.”

Lilith smiled again as she lifted Jesus so he could burp. He had stopped crying rather fast - maybe because Lilith had put a tiny soothing miracle into the milk that Mary had milked out, since she couldn’t’ leave the house yet, and go with Josef. Lilith swaddled Jesus again - and it helped him calm down even more, before she looked up, and said, “No problem there, then, since both you and I know that there is only one God - even if we disagree if ‘they’ are a he or a she.”, she said with a smile.

The rabbi frowned, “Why a ‘she’ - and then it could just be that Astarte, couldn’t it?”

“Well is says so - in your own Torah - _“__And God made man in his image, in the image of God he made him: male and female he made them.” - _which must mean that God has no gender, right?”

The rabbi just looked at her and then he smiled, “Wow - a woman who can read and discuss just as good as any rabbi. You are quite something. Where are you from, if I may ask? And are people there just like you? Then it must be a wonderful place.”

Lilith bowed her head; she could sense that the rabbi had the same sense of being able to tell if people spoke the truth as Mary, so she had to be careful with her words. Maybe it had been a mistake to come with Josef.

“My place used to be wonderful. It is way down south. Further south than the sources of the Nile. My people could have all shades of colours of the skin and even amongst them I was different. You do know about those with almost white skin and sometimes yellow or white hair?”

The rabbi nodded, but didn’t say anything.

Lilith pointed at her own chest, “This is just a different type - and like those people I have an eye-condition. Too much bright light might even harm them permanently. If I am careful, I can avoid them getting worse if I protect them against the sun and I can avoid scaring people. My eyes look weird. It sort of runs in my family. Contrary to those with totally white skin, I can get a tan, but not much. And that makes me different from those ‘silver’ people. And ‘reading’ - it was not uncommon that both girls and boys were supposed to be able to read. To learn your language - well it was easier, when I could read it as well. And about ‘wonderful’ - well. A mighty and powerful ruler of our country decided that we couldn’t be allowed to live in that country anymore - some of us - those of us, who were a bit different, couldn’t stay, and we were cast out. Not really knowing what we had done to deserve that - and we had to find a new place to live. I ended up here after a long time - I am older that I look.”

Lilith looked at the rabbi.

He just nodded. He could feel that there was a lot she didn’t say, but there was a core of truth in her words, so he believed her and allowed her to keep some secrets.

“I can feel a deep sadness and sorrow in you.”, he said and continued, “And a feeling of having been unjustly treated. Harassed and mocked and threatened. Usually, if people are treated like that, two things can happen: they can become bitter and resentful and almost hating everybody and everything, or.....” he looked at Lilith, “......or they become helpful so the bad things happening to them, might never happen to others. It cannot have been easy to have chosen that path in life.”

Lilith just nodded. The rabbi came a bit too close to the truth and she didn’t dare say anything.

He rose, “It has been a pleasure meeting you…and you too, little man and you, Josef.”

Josef cleared his throat, “We intend to celebrate later this evening. Will you come to our house and celebrate with us? Well…it is not actually my house, since…”

The rabbi smiled, “I will come.”

(“Such a shame that he didn’t live long after that, Nia.”, said Zoley, “Judaism could have been a lot different if he had lived and had become one of those with a lot of influence. He was kind and open-minded. Just what a lot of religions need - even if their view upon God is wrong and wrapped so much in a co-web of misunderstandings - often so much, that God can’t be seen anymore.”

Zoley shook his head and continued, “Now, Nia, - Josef and Mary didn’t have their own close family in Bethlehem and the family knew of course their duty towards distant relatives - but they didn’t intend to pay more than the bare minimum for the celebration of Jesus’ circumcision. Adah didn’t mind celebrating, but she couldn’t decide everything. So there would be chicken-broth and wine and dates and baked bread - but almost nothing out of the usual daily food or wine apart from the chicken. So - I had walked to Jerusalem bringing some of my best pots and had sold them on the market. The Romans had brought money to Israel and it was easier to trade if you had money. Some, who might want your pots, maybe they didn’t have anything you needed - and with money, you didn’t have to trade and could just buy. So money was such a clever invention. Well - I sold my pots and bought some ‘ashishim’ - lentil-cakes. And a small amphora of wine and some sweets made of honey and sesame-seeds and finally a box of the finest Medjool dates. I knew that Josef, Mary and Adah would have provided at least a chicken and some fresh baked bread - but I would bring the extravaganza.”)

As Lilith returned and showed what she had brought and had mumbled something like, “A little gift to celebrate Jesus.” - Mary had hugged her and said, “We can never repay you.” And Lilith had smiled and said, “You have - with your kindness and acceptance” and Mary had smiled with an understanding, “You had never had much of that, had you? You will have to come with us to Nazareth.”

Jesus slept most of the time as his guests talked and ate and all in all had turned friendlier towards Josef and Mary. Somehow many of Josef’s relatives did blame him, and Mary thought that they thought that Josef had not been able to control himself and had ‘been with her’ before their marriage. Something that didn’t totally disgrace both of them - but most certainly something that did chip off a bit of their respectability. And Josef just held his head high and took the blame - he was the eldest of the pair after all - and he didn’t complain - and Mary loved him even more for his decency and kindness. Josef had chosen her - and he could easily have escaped this blame and belittling by breaking the betrothal. She smiled at him and promised herself that she would be him the best wife possible.

Lilith was sitting in the background - observing and being happy that she had been able to help this young likable pair - and just wondered if Jesus actually was divine and in that case - what was she doing there? Being very un-demonic.


	8. A visit from ‘Three Holy Kings’, some soldiers and fleeing to Egypt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hear a bit more about what happened in Bethlehem and afterwards - and how Lilith became a part of the family. And we still return to 2011 from time to time.

Zoley continued his narration: “Nothing really happened the next week - apart from Joseph and Mary and I preparing for travelling back to Nazareth. Mary had received gifts - small things. A small box, some pieces of cloth - a small baby do need clean cloth for swaddling and soft plant-material to suck up the worst of his waste - they didn’t invent diapers until almost 1500 years later. And since Mary couldn’t leave the house because of her ‘impurity period’ and she didn’t have close female relatives nearby - well I picked up the task of washing. Well - I just went to the nearby river, made sure no one saw me and miracled the mess away and just made the clothes wet. So - about the gifts - they had more to bring back to Nazareth than they had brought to Bethlehem. That is why Joseph had provided a small cart - so Mary could sit in there and not strain herself by sitting on a donkey’s back. And they would have no use for the carrier-baskets that their donkey had had on his back before.”

“ I didn’t know I would need those baskets after all a bit later”, explained Zoley and continued, “9 days after the celebration and after Mary had had her ritual bath and was welcomed back into society and was allowed to leave the house - even if there were still some restrictions applied to her - the ‘three holy kings’ arrived. Just - it was so wrong: they weren’t ‘three’. They weren’t ‘holy’ and they weren’t ‘kings’ - and by the way - their names weren’t Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar either. There were four of them and they were astrologists and they were loaded - as in wealthy. Their camels and donkeys and servants blocked the road outside that little house as they visited. And ‘astrologists’ - well I never understood that. Honestly - how can intelligent beings like humans get the idea that stars in the night-sky, being thousands of light-years away from each other and only looking at them from this little planet, get the insane idea into their heads that those stars are connected and form significant and extremely important pictures? I mean - humans can see pictures everywhere - in pebbles, in tiles, in the water patterns on a crumbling wall - on..on burned toast! But creating an intricate world of gods and figures and whatnot based on stars in the sky and honestly believing that those stars, which have nothing to do with each other - that how the Sun and the planets were placed on that background of imaginary star-images - that it would decide how life should be lived here on Earth - well that is beyond crazy. Humans refuse to see what is right in front of their noses - the proof of how Earth was made and not just randomly suddenly came into existence. But they do believe in astrology. That is so....just too much.”

“I think that astrology and astronomy were the same thing for centuries and it was humans’ attempt at understanding the world.”, said Niaphael.

“Yeah...I get that. But with Hubble-telescope and science and everything, why do people still believe in that nonsense? I don’t get it. And yes - I know that Terry and Neil wrote that ‘_Earth is a Libra’_ \- but that was just a joke. Well, back to the ‘three holy kings’ - how they managed - based on astrology - to find Bethlehem - that is a bloody miracle. Well - I suppose it was a bit like Agnes Nutter - someone must have whispered something in some human ears. The astrologist had visited Jerusalem and King Herod first - I’ll admit that it came pretty close to be almost spot on, since Jesus was born only 2 hours walk away - and by the way - that ‘Christmas’-star - it could be seen in almost every country in the northern hemisphere - so how could those astrologist find Bethlehem?”

“The Bible mentioned something about prophecies and some scripture of the prophet Mika telling about the new King being born in Bethlehem. We do not have the texts anymore, just mentionings of them.”, said Niaphael.

“Well - no matter which angels whispered in which persons’ ears, or it might even have been God herself - the astrologists arrived in Bethlehem and brought gifts. I was in the house as well - in the background and Adah was fretting, because she, as she said, “had nothing to give the guests.” I reminded her of the last box of dates and the second box of the sesame-and-honey sweets and the last remains of wine in the amphora from Jerusalem. Just some tiny miracle of mine - because we had eaten it all. And of course to Adah’s surprise the mentioned things were there and could be served to the guests - that is - only the four astrologists, not the whole bunch of servants. They stayed outside.

Mary and Joseph didn’t know how to receive the offered gifts and to say that those gifts were in boxes would have been an insult. The gifts were in....small intricately ornated chests. Each of them worth more than all possessions in Bethlehem combined - and that without the contents. Each of the four astrologists had such a chest. One filled with gold jewellery - made for a king. One with 7 gemstones. One with ‘Myrrh’ and the last with ‘Frankincense’. Mary of course thanked for the gifts - but I am sure she didn’t know the enormous value of those gifts. They were truly for a king.

As the guests ate and drank the youngest noticed me in the background and came over to me and asked if I was a servant? I smiled and said that those people here in this town couldn’t afford servants - I was a friend. He was young and looked a bit worried and then he said, “You seem to be a woman of calmness - I noticed that you helped the other woman as she was overwhelmed by our visit. So....we might have made a huge mistake. See, we visited King Herod first. We thought that a new king would be born at his court, maybe even be his son. We should have studied the stars and scriptures better. And now it comes: Herod didn’t seem pleased by the thought about a new king; even if he said that he would like to worship that king. I am afraid that that worshipping would include a sword. So...a warning would be necessary. Please be careful. And when we leave, we are not travelling through Jerusalem - and we are not going to tell King Herod that we found the king.”

Zoley paused and then he pointed at one of Niaphael’s Bibles, “At least humans got some of that right - that the astrologists avoided Jerusalem on their travel home. What they do disagree about, is what happened next - and they couldn’t even figure out, when those ‘Magi’ arrived. I mean - Mary and Joseph were still in Bethlehem. How long did those narrators imagine that they would stay by distant relatives instead of travelling home to their own close family? Some of those scholars came to the impressive result that Mary and Joseph stayed more than two fucking years in Bethlehem. So stupid! Well - I listened to that young man and altered our plans. I would grant us about 24 hours maximum, before Herod would send his soldiers to Bethlehem and start ‘worshipping’ using their swords. So I had some work to do. I got rid of the cart. It did squeak worse than the donkey and we could just use those carrier-bags again. But we would need supplies for a long travel - water - dates - blankets for the nights - and I couldn’t miracle everything into existence.”

Zoley took a deep breath but was interrupted by Niaphael, despite his promise to keep quiet, and Niaphael had to ask, “Jesus was Heaven’s plan. Why did you protect him? Wouldn’t that get you into severe trouble from Hell?”

Zoley shook his head, “First - ‘Heaven’s Plan ™’ - oh yes. And they didn’t know a fucking shit about how humans lived or what they needed or how to keep newborns alive. The Angels had just thrown a baby inside Mary - or whatever they did - and then they imagined that everything was going to be tickety-boo. Jesus wouldn’t have had a chance with that high child-mortality then. He wasn’t that divine - his unfinished mind, maybe - but he was still in a very fragile tiny and helpless human body. And this was not the first time and wouldn’t be the last time I had to save him - and my reason for that? I wanted to have an influence on him. I wanted to stop both Heaven’s plan - and Hell’s. They were rather similar and I didn’t want them to happen. It was a bit like the Apocalypse - I told you that Heaven would cheat. But I am not going to tell you about that Plan™ - not yet. Just that it would not be good for humans - not at all. And one thing more - I didn’t know you well enough then - so I had to do this on my own. My excuse to Hell was of course that I would turn Jesus towards Hell - so he would end up worshipping Lucifer instead of God. And they bought it.”

Niaphael just nodded, “I agree - I didn’t have the guts to go against Heaven then - and almost didn’t have it when you needed me in 1989 - and I am still terrible sorry for that and….”

Zoley smiled, “Don’t worry. You had the guts in time - so we - and the humans, and to be honest, mostly the humans, managed. I just……do you have a feeling that we did forget something very important? That we have sort of a gap in our memories?”

“Some of this mind-erasing stuff?”, wanted Niaphael to know.

“Yeah, I have a feeling. You know - just like when you can’t remember a specific word - and it is almost there. Like…..something that was standing on a blackboard and then whipped out and then you could still see a faint picture. It’s just like that. Something that happened between the Apocadidn’t and now. It is weird.”

“Maybe it is just because so much happened at once…that even our brains or ethereal existences had difficulties processing everything? And then we had to catch up - and maybe that is why we feel like that?”, tried Niaphael to explain.

Zoley thought for a moment about Niaphael’s suggestion, “Well…yeah…maybe. I can’t help thinking that something happened that we weren’t allowed to remember. Or maybe you are right. That it is just memories of the Apocadidn’t and the time right after that, which we were processing. And now it is so many years ago. There is nothing we can do about it. If we start to remember - then it’s fine - if not - then it’s fine too.

So…well back to my story: It was later that same day - very late - night - almost everybody had gone to sleep and I just wanted us out of Bethlehem. I had left a lot of my pottery in my hut, I couldn’t bring it with me - and I had packed a lot of stuff and had left the cart behind some bloke’s house - he would be pleased and maybe he would not think so much about where his nice blankets had gone. Now I just needed Mary and Joseph to be awake. I used a tool, that later would be very loved by thieves, stuck it in between the door and the doorframe and removed the bolt, that kept the door closed and got into Adah’s house, snuck upstairs and found Mary. Asked her to wake Joseph up. To grip Jesus from his crib and gather their things and hurry a bit. And within 25 minutes we left Bethlehem in the middle of the night. I had wrapped pieces of cloth around the hooves of the donkey and had whispered in its ear what I would do to it if it so much as thought about braying. I used my ability to see in the dim light and got Mary, Joseph and Jesus safely away. Not so much northbound - that would have been stupid - but not direct south either. That was the normal route to get to Egypt - following the normal caravan route. And that would be too dangerous too. And I know, Nia, that I abandoned all the other babies in Bethlehem - I did! But I had to do the math and make sure that Jesus was safe - just like Moses back then. And that is by the way - that is why that Rabbi died - he tried to defend the babies and the toddlers in Bethlehem, as Herod’s soldiers came very early in the morning and slaughtered every boy under the age of two years.”

“I see..”, said Niaphael, because he remembered how they both had been involved in the case about Moses and the Jews in Egypt so many years ago. They had not been working together - but on the other hand not hindering each other in doing what was necessary. And again - it had been Zoley who had protected the little child in the basket until he was safe in the hands of Pharaoh’s daughter. “You can’t kill kids” - it was always Zoley’s most important uttering - and that showed rather early, how good a soul he was deep down.

Zoley continued, “We could have followed ‘The King’s road’, but chose the ‘Via Maris’ along the coast. It was less used and not the first popular choice. Still some caravans used it and we found one to follow. Just being one of many families. And just to be even surer: I made sure that Jesus slept for many hours and had disguised him as a bunch of dates. Now we were just a man and his wife and their female friend - tradesmen. I had pottery, Mary had pieces of cloth and Joseph had his tools as a carpenter. And as a lot of other people in the caravan, we were travelling to Egypt to get a better life. King Herod had gotten more and more despotic - and paranoid - and if you, let us say - were a carpenter and refused to work for him and leave your family and village for years - then you would be punished. That would be Joseph’s excuse, if someone asked. But no one asked. We moved slowly and slept outside in the nights or in one of the small caravanserais along the coast. We had enough money - we had the gold jewelry and we broke tiny bits of it. We couldn’t sell it whole. After about 14 days of travel we did reach Egypt and the refugee-camp there - more like a small village. And with a surprisingly large amount of Jews, who had fled from Herod and his despotic nature. The Egyptian Prefect had welcomed them - us. You must remember, Nia, that Egypt was a part of the Roman Empire as well. Many of the Jews had still a fear that history would repeat itself. They had no wish to become slaves again - so this time they wisely kept to themselves and made their own village, but since there was only _one_ ruler over Egypt and that was a Roman Emperor and the Egyptian Prefects saw no interest in preventing Jews from living in Egypt or saw any reason to enslave them, no one had anything to fear.”

Zoley took a deep breath and continued, “We lived there for 5 years, Nia. Formed a small family: the weird aunt, who made a living with her pottery. The husband, who was such a good carpenter, that the Egyptians wanted him to work for them and the young wife, who was very good at weaving. We even had the gifts from the Astrologist and sold some of it, without telling that it was the real Myrrh and real expensive Frankincense. Someone might have given it a thought or two about how such common people could own such valuable things. I came up with the idea to dilute it in beeswax and like that it only had a hint of that fragrance. So - it wasn’t money we lacked. We lacked a homeland and security and a place to belong. Well - not me - I had not had that for a very long time, but those years, where I followed Jesus on Hell’s orders - they were….good. I didn’t mind. And Jesus was just like all the other children - and you had to look closely to notice that he wasn’t an Egyptian boy - like them he wore kohl around his eyes, to protect against the sun and against inflammations. He wore only a loincloth and was just as brown as the other children running about. He spoke Coptic, beside his own Aramaic that his parents taught him and Hebrew, that some of the other Jews spoke. If he was a bit different then it would be that he was a bit better-behaved than some of the others. But so was his younger brother, born only one and a half year after Jesus. His name became ‘James’, and he was initiated to God the same way as Jesus had been. Rabbis were in the refugee-village as well - and this time Mary had money enough to celebrate the circumcision herself without me needing to miracle something.”

Zoley pointed at Nia’s Bible, “It doesn’t mention anything about those years in Egypt. Not a thing about that I saved Jesus’ life two times more. One time he had fallen down a cliff and only a small bush, that I miracled into existence, caught him and prevented him from falling down. I climbed down and rescued him. Another event was when he and some other children had found a bunch of scorpions under a rock. He was bitten and I had to use a miracle to save him - and before you ask, Nia. My excuse to Hell was that I knew this boy and could influence him - I wouldn’t know if Heaven sent another down. And they bought it. How Heaven could imagine that they could just drop off a divine creature and then expect him to survive to adulthood without keeping an eye on him - well that is just too fucking stupid.”

“Well - Heaven is not known for knowing too much about how humans live, are they?”, asked Nia and smiled.

Zoley shook his head smiled back and continued, “We stayed there until we heard that King Herod was dead and had been followed by his two sons, who had divided Israel between them. And then we left Egypt together with a lot of the other Jews. I had told Mary and Joseph that I would still like to live in Nazareth, but that I would live in my own house. They were going home to their family - and I didn’t want to be a part of that. I wasn’t obeying the Jewish laws of which food could be eaten with what or what would be allowed. We had tried to - Mary and Joseph had tried to live by those rules, but it wasn’t always easy in Egypt and even the Rabbis had acknowledged that it sometimes could be difficult to obey the rules - and forgivable if they couldn’t. I didn’t want to live in that extended household - all those aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews - and Mary and Joseph accepted and understood that.”

Zoley smiled and took a sip of his wine, “I was soon accepted in Nazareth. Good pottery was needed everywhere and it became ‘everyday’ again. Joseph now worked from time to time on Herod Antipas building projects, but was at home in Nazareth from time to time. Mostly in the winter, where the weather would prevent building so many projects. And Mary and Joseph had three more sons beside Jesus and James: Joses, Judas and Simon. Nothing really happened for the next 7 years. I didn’t discover anything abnormal about Jesus - nothing at all. And could report to Hell that he was ‘dormant’ and that I was trying to form his mind. Knowing what happened in Hambleden, when Adam was a child - I should have noticed. Well - the climate around Nazareth is not the most pleasant in Galilee: Muddy in winter, dusty in the summer, but - and here is the ‘but’ - Nazareth never had hails, the frost never ruined crops or delicate flowers on the wine in the spring. We never had attacks from grasshoppers, even if they were in the fields near other villages. So - as soon as Jesus became aware of his surroundings, he did alter them a bit and prevented bad things from happening. Just without anyone noticing, because it all appeared so normal. A bit like Hambleden almost 2000 years later.”

Zoley sat still and paused a bit and Niaphael just waited and then Zoley continued, “It was peaceful years. Hell didn’t want me to do so many other things apart from keeping an eye on Jesus - and so I did. But with my own agenda. Jesus often popped by in my house and had a lot of questions, as he sat with dangling legs on my bed as I worked with my pottery. And we talked about a lot of topics. Jesus was intelligent and the two rabbis in Nazareth - ‘the young’ who must have been around 25 and ‘the wise’ who must have been around 50 - they were happy to teach Jesus. All the other boys in Nazareth were just taught the most necessary - and had no interest in learning more, but Jesus was curious and wanted to know more. Those two men often resorted to the grown-ups usual ‘explanation’ if they didn’t know themselves - ‘That is just the way it is’ or ‘God made it so’ or ‘That is ineffable’…” and Zoley looked at Niaphael.

Niaphael smiled back and said, “Point taken..”

And Zoley smiled and continued, “Jewish boys - apart from the poorest - were supposed to be able to read a bit Hebrew - enough to at least identify the part of the Torah they were supposed to be able to remember some sentences from. But Jesus was genuinely interested in languages and wanted to learn how to read and write. The two Rabbis had a conversation with Joseph and Mary and Jesus was allowed to use time to study. And after that Jesus would come by with all his questions and ask me - since the Rabbis didn’t want to answer or couldn’t.”

Zoley smiled and remembered, “Jesus asked me why the sky was blue. The answer he had got from the Rabbis was ‘God made it so’ - I tried to tell a bit more: “Earth was an orb and the air was just a thin layer around it. On top of mountains, the air would be much too thin for us to live in and no - the blue didn’t continue all the way up to God and God couldn’t sit on a cloud - they were just like fog. And God and Heaven wasn’t just over our heads - more sort of sideways - a bit like houses lying next to each other. And just like the water in the sea or in a lake didn’t seem to have a colour when we just held it in our palm, then it would have a colour when we looked at a lot of it, like looking out over the sea or over a lake. Air was the same - without colour looking at it right now - and a lot of it would look blue.” - I know now that it is not the scientific explanation we know now - but it was the best I could do then. We had a lot of conversations like that and through these I tried to influence him - to make him think and not just accept every easy knee-jerk explanations. Jesus used to come by 3-4 times every week and would be sitting on by bed with his legs dangling and later - as he grew taller - he would bend them and rest his chin on his knees. We would practise our language skills. When we returned from Egypt, Jesus could speak Coptic and a bit of Greek, his own Aramaic dialect and Hebrew and we practised so he could continue remembering at least a bit of it.”

Zoley frowned and paused and looked out into the air and then he turned towards Niaphael and said, “I never understood why destroying the city of Babel and the tower and fucking up people’s languages up was so important. I mean - in that area of the World they had survived the Flood and had found other surviving people and had thrived and grown and had made cities and....and.... civilizations and a lot of things - amongst them burned bricks. And the humans then had the idea to show what they had achieved and wanted to build ‘a tower that could reach God’ with those strong burned bricks. - What was so bloody wrong with that?! They were proud - oh yes - and they might have bragged bit - but it was one heck of an achievement, right? And then one of those tight arseholes ‘Upstairs’ got scared - or it might even have been God herself - and got afraid of what humans might be able to do, if they had reached such a level of skills - and then they should be punished for showing off. Do you know how much I had to work my arse off to get people organized into groups afterwards? Husbands were separated from wives. Children from their parents - siblings couldn’t understand each other. It was utter chaos. And one important thing, Nia. From this catastrophe every seed was planted to all the wars that were to come. If people had still spoken one language, THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO WARS! So how can someone blame humans of being cruel and un-understandable towards each other when Heaven itself did plant that very seed that caused all the trouble? So unfair. And that is why I wanted Jesus to be able to speak at least more than one language.”

Niaphael nodded and said, “I never understood Babel either - nor Sodom and Gomorrah for that matter. Please continue your story, Zoley dear.”

Zoley frowned, “I still think I have missed something important there - not Sodom and Gomorrah - we all know that Sandalphon was responsible here. That bastard have always enjoyed tormenting others a bit too much. And talking about those Archangels - have you seen or heard anything from them lately?”

“No....actually not since 1990 and the Apocadidn’t. It is funny, isn’t it? I have a feeling that something important - well apart from you and I getting a new body each - with all the ....extra benefits of having a more human, but still somehow an extremely durable body...”

Zoley smiled, “...you mean the extreme pleasures of making love and having sex, both on the ethereal plane and with a human body as well....with all its glands and hormones and stuff - and prostates and nerve-endings and sensitivity all over. No ‘bathing wearing a protective suit’ anymore and.....”

Niaphael nodded, “...oh yes and even the food tastes better when I can truly taste it with real human taste-buds...”

Then he smirked and got a glint in his eyes, “Even you, dear, tasted better - taste better - all of you. Everywhere....”

Zoley threw his head back and laughed and could hardly stop again and then he looked at his lover - his husband - his better half, “You wouldn’t know. We never had sex until after the bus ride back from Hambleden Airbase, now did we?”

Niaphael had the decency to blush a bit before he answered, “No...not you and I. But...oh bugger. You slept a century away - or so I thought. I was lonely - in denial - and I was curious too. So yes - I became the lover of several men. Not at the same time, mind - I am not a slut - but...”

And he reached out and took Zoley’s hands in his, “It was nothing compared to even hold your hand or kiss you for the first time. Not until then I understood what all the fuss - in films and in my books - was about. I thought I ‘loved’. I didn’t love until I finally was with you.” - and he kissed Zoley’s hands before he continued, “And I am so happy that you had the patience of an Angel....”

“Or rather a Demon...”, interrupted Zoley.

“The patience of a special and certain Demon..”, agreed Niaphael, “...to wait for me to figure out where I truly belonged. For me to give up my misplaced trust in Heaven and finally acknowledge where my loyalty ought to be. I love you so much, Zoley and ....if.....”

Niaphael paused and was silent for a moment, “....if what happened - and I know it is many years ago now - and I haven’t felt or sensed anything amiss - but if the price we had to pay for thwarting the Apocalypse and be together - well - if we had become more human and we are no longer immortal and will die and sort of just disappear. It would have been worth it, don’t you think so, my dear?”


	9. Mostly just sex - with a twist - literally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can skip this chapter if you don't want to read about Niaphael and Zoley having sex. Read the tags: Niaphael is a bratty bottom, Niaphael is a pillow princes, Zoley is a service-top, top/bottom sex, Snake-sex, Zoley has two penises.

Zoley frowned, “Is something wrong, Nia? Don’t you feel well?”

“I do! I do feel well, but it is not like we can apply for new bodies anymore, can we? What if we are in a car-crash or fall down from a building? Or just get stabbed or burned. Then there would not be new bodies for us. And in that case......it would be better if we....sort of .....vanished. I don’t think we would be treated nicely when we turn up respectively Upstairs and Downstairs and would ask for new bodies. I am just worried a bit, that is all.”

Zoley frowned - and had again that feeling that he ought to remember something important and then he smiled, “You forget something important.”

“I do?”

“Who gave you the body, you have now, Nia? And gave me a new one too? I was barely keeping it together - and was in just as bad a shape as my Rolls. Burning inside - Adam noticed - didn’t even mention it and just repaired my body with a glance. I didn’t even notice. If we need new bodies, he would just give us new bodies.”

“And now you are forgetting something important too, Zoley, dear.”

“And that is?”

“Adam gave up is powers. Rejected Lucifer....” and as Niaphael said that, he had the beginning of a thought that just disappeared again.

Zoley shook his head, “We have talked about this before. He might have in that moment - and it worked. But both you and I know that his powers have returned. Not enough to turn Earth upside down, but enough for small changes. Or big ones: he restored your bookshop, right? And my Rolls. And do you remember Emmeny’s and Newt’s second child - Annett?”

“What about her?”

“She got very ill and then she was all right again. It was Adam - not you and I. And we would only need his help if we both got discorporated at the same time. Nothing to worry about. And we haven’t heard a single thing from Heaven or Hell in all those years - and we haven’t been ill and we haven’t aged one bit. Not more than we want ourselves to do to avoid suspicion. At a point we’ll have to ‘get old’ and somehow our ‘younger relatives’ would turn up and inherit our belongings. That’s what we have done since humans got a bit too clever at making registers and using computers and databases.”

Niaphael smiled, “You always know the words to soothe me. I know - I fret...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I love you the way you are, Nia, and will continue doing it....forever. Despite the ‘fretting’ - that is just a part of you. You have done it for so many years - worried. And sometimes it protected us that you were so paranoid about Heaven. They abused you - ‘gas-lighted’ you - threatened you - Somehow you are just as damaged as I am. And we are still healing. Just - now we are helping each other.”

Niaphael rose, “Can the rest of your story wait? I feel like being very close to you - in a both very human way and a more ethereal manner. I need to think of something else.”

Zoley rose and grappled Niaphael’s hand, “My story can wait. I am soon coming to a more gloomy part of it - and what did you think about? Like...what I want to do to you?”

Niaphael smiled, “If you could fill my head with nice thoughts, I would be very grateful.”

Now Zoley moved like a big cat, sneaking in on its prey. And then would spring into action. He moved fast and pushed Niaphael up against the nearest wall and licked his neck just below his ear as he rumbled, “I am not alone going to fill your head with nice thoughts, but your arse and your cunt - if you would make such ‘an effort’, and your mouth with my big cock, so...bedroom! Now!”

Niaphael moaned - he liked it so much when Zoley was in charge - or at least pretended he was.

And then Zoley stopped and asked with his always present care and reverence for his angel, “All right?”

“Of course it is all right, Love.”

“Well - it is just - you know? It could be just as good for you being in ‘top-space’ and I wouldn’t mind and ...”

“Zoley dear - I know you wouldn’t mind and...”

Zoley smiled and said, “And we both know who is in charge here. I think the correct label for me is ‘service-top’ and the one for you would be ‘pillow-princess’ or ‘bratty-bottom’ - your choice!”

Now it was Niaphael who showed his real strength and he pushed Zoley against one of the shelves and now it was Zoley’s turn to moan and get weak in his knees as the angel moved so fast and with so much strength and licked a stripe up Zoley’s neck - ending by his ear, where Niaphael whispered, “I think I’ll prefer ‘princess’ for tonight - I’ll just stay in male form, because I want you to fill me - fill my arse - I want you to give yourself the cocks of a snake and jam both of your fat cocks into my tight hole! Again and again. Make me feel the stretch and the burn.”

Zoley had to swallow a lump in his throat and he moaned, “Nia! Keep on talking like that, and I will not even make it to our bed...Stop - please.”

And with a flick of his fingers Niaphael moved both of them to their bed. And removed their clothes at the same time. Even if he said that he wanted Zoley to top him, he was still in charge and had put Zoley down on the sheets - legs spread and Zoley had obeyed Niaphael and had made his genitals more snake-like. As he would do many times later - always to Niaphael’s delight.

Niaphael almost growled as he took a firm grip around Zoley’s thighs and smirked as he said ‘restraints’ and Zoley’s arms were fastened over his head to the headboard with padded cuffs and straps. And padded cuffs had been around his ankles too - not just fastened to the bed yet. A position they had tried before - both of them.

Niaphael stopped and asked, “Colour?”

Zoley smiled and said, “Green - but I thought you would.....”

And didn’t manage to say anything else because Niaphael now was sucking and biting - gently- and licking at the opening where the two very human-cock looking snake-penises were peaking out. Like a snake - using this version of his body - Zoley’s testicles would be inside his body and would not be able to be stimulated. But the opening in his body where his ‘snake-penises’ would come out - it would be very sensitive and as Niaphael continued to such and nip and lick right there - Zoley threw his head back and whimpered. Niaphael hadn’t even touched the cocks yet - and Zoley was falling apart.

He lifted his head and looked down at the curly blonde head partly hidden behind his two cocks, which were now fully engorged and throbbing and both leaking like defect faucets - dripping down on his stomach.

“Nia - please...”, he managed to say and the angel crawled up and kissed him - using tongue and teeth and continuing kissing and licking into Zoley’s mouth for a long time. Then he crawled back again - kissing and biting - again gently - all over Zoley’s body. Paying most attention to Zoley’s nipples. Niaphael pinched one between his fingers as he sucked at the other - and then he changed position. And then he moved down to the opening again and continued licking and sucking.

“Nia! Please - I am going to......” panted Zoley and Niaphael looked up at him with a smirk and then he continued licking and biting and lifted his head again, “You know the colours, Love...”

The only thing Zoley managed to say was “Ngk...Bastard!”

The tingling began to build and the feeling of warmth began coiling inside his body. Mostly centred around his nipples and his two neglected cocks - and surprisingly enough around his testicles, which were buried inside his body. He could somehow still feel how they sort of felt the same way as if they were lifted up against his body, as if he had been in his more human form.

“I...I... am going to...” Zoley panted and continued, “...yellow! Yellow!”

And Niaphael stopped and crawled up and kissed Zoley again - and Zoley could taste himself inside Niaphael’s mouth - a special and unique taste - but not so far away from Zoley’s smell and taste in his human form: spicy - cedar-wood - smoke from burning peat - and a hint of black tea and bergamot and a very tiny amount of that fish-like smell that reptiles would carry and that Zoley would taste and smell like when he was in his snake-form together with the rest of his unique scent. A smell and scent that was so uniquely Zoley that Niaphael had never smelled or tasted anything like that before. He loved it.

Niaphael smirked as he stopped kissing Zoley and admired the blush of arousal that spread from Zoley’s cheeks down on his neck and chest.

“You were right, my love - ‘top-space’ would work just as nicely for me. And now - can you behave?”

“Anything for you, Nia. I would do anything for you..”

Niaphael bend down and whispered in Zoley’s ear, “I am going to free your hands - I need you to keep your cocks - your lovely fat and big cocks together and steady as I sink down on you..”

Zoley had to close his eyes and take a steady breath and almost lost it as Niaphael continued, “And you would have to watch - and keep it together - for me - because I am going to face away from you - so you can see how my opening is stretched and forced open when I sink down......Can you do that? Keeping it together?”

The only thing Zoley could say was, “Ngk...” as he desperately - and with success - tried not to come.

Then his hands were free again and he obediently held his cocks together - and almost lost it again as Niaphael turned around - spread his arse-cheeks so Zoley could watch in detail how Niaphael slowly - and with a bit of miracled looseness and lube opened up so he could let himself be stretched obscenely over the two cocks. Zoley had to close his eyes, because the sight of Niaphael’s opening being stretched like that - well it almost made Zoley come from that sight alone. And the feeling of that tight heat too....Zoley had to think of something unpleasant or he wouldn’t have been able to stop his impending orgasm right there.

And then Niaphael began to move and Zoley could only watch as the angel used him as a sex-toy. Somehow, while Zoley was struggling not to come, Niaphael had restrained Zoley’s arms and legs to the bed-frame. And Zoley allowed himself to sink down in subspace - where he had nothing to think about, apart from obeying Niaphael and try not to come. He knew if he did - he would be punished - and the thought of that - a spanking or even maybe the riding crop - sent a chill up his spine. But strangely enough it didn’t make it more difficult to avoid his orgasm. He was floating - and that without any pain. He normally would need a bit of pain to reach that state of mind. But not today.....he was just happy to be used like that. Giving his Nia so much pleasure. Niaphael was panting and moaning almost silently and Zoley felt just a tiny bit of disappointment that he couldn’t see Niaphael’s front and see how his cock would be bouncing up and down with his movements.

Niaphael stopped and took a breath through his nose - an almost sigh - and then he slowly turned his body around, still impaled on those two cocks, as if he had heard Zoley’s wish. He moaned a bit and closed his eyes - savouring the feeling, as he did it.

The rotating movement made Zoley whimper and he had to fight hard not to come.

“Nia..please...”, he almost whispered and Niaphael listened to the words unspoken and freed Zoley’s hands. Zoley took a firm grip on Niaphael’s hips - Zoley’s fingers would leave marks - and Niaphael loved that - and now it was Zoley who defined the pace and held Niaphael as he himself, with supernatural strength and agility moved his own and Niaphael’s body up and down. Something no human would be able to do for more than a few minutes and Zoley continued for much longer, until Niaphael panted, “Oh..this is...I’m going to....”

And that was the point where his body tensed and then shuddered and he shouted and came so hard he hit Zoley in the face with his semen and he kept on whimpering, “Oh my...oh my...oh...oh..” as he came one more time.

That was enough - together with the clenching of Niaphael’s ‘channel’ - to take Zoley over the brink as well and he shot his double load inside the angel. A feeling so intense, because of his two cocks, that he almost blacked out.

_______________________

Afterwards - as they were snuggling together, with Zoley draped over Niaphael almost like a blanket and so close that it was almost impossible to tell where one stopped and the other began and in the warmth and safety of a down-duvet, Niaphael kissed the top of Zoley’s head, “Thank you, Love..”, he said.

Zoley looked up, “Whatever for? You don’t have to thank me. I was the one who ‘got the biggest part of the cake’ here, Nia.”

Niaphael shook his head, “No. I disagree. You always indulge me in my weird requests: restraints - a bit of pain - snake-cocks - being at my mercy. Making me feel powerful and on top...”

“Even if you like to ‘bottom’ - have your arse filled..”, interrupted Zoley.

“You know what I mean, Love. You never say ‘no’, you are always so careful around me and we....”

Niaphael held his hand up as Zoley was about to say something, “.....we have established that you do deserve love and care - my love and my care and that it just happens to be that we fit together in bed as in our lives. I was just too damned long to find out and to long stopping being an idiot and finally acknowledge my love for you. I am truly sorry it took me so long - but I was so scared. Of what Heaven would do to you or even worse...Hell. I never gave it a thought that it was actually Heaven and Angles that I ought to fear the most.”

“It doesn’t matter, Nia”, said Zoley and turned so he could kiss Niaphael, “What is important is that we are here now and that we are together and that we actually haven’t heard anything at all from ‘Upstairs’ or ‘Downstairs’. Let us just be here in the moment and live.”


	10. About dates and forbidden fruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We hear a bit more about Lilith Asthoret's life in ancient Nazareth - and we return to 2011 and Niaphael and Zoley discusses how accurate the events history can be described, when they are filtered through memory.

Then Zoley snuggled close to Niaphael’s softness and said, “I am not tired - strangely enough. Do you want to hear the rest of my story? I haven’t gotten to the gloomy parts yet.”

Niaphael kissed his head and said, “Of course, Love.”

And Zoley began, “Well - as I mentioned: the young Jesus would often turn up to sit in my hut, watching me making the pots on the wheel and later burn them outside in my oven. His brothers - James, Joses and later Judas and Simon would come by and sit and talk too. Not as often as Jesus. Jesus would pop by at least two times a week. He had so many questions. This conversation happened shortly before his travel to Jerusalem - the one where he stayed there and worried Josef and Mary so much.”

“Oh.”

______________________

The 12 year old Jesus was sitting on her bed with his long legs bend and resting his chin on his knees, “Aunt Lilith - how come women are inferior to men?”

Lilith didn’t say anything, just turned her head towards him and Jesus could feel that she was looking at him, despite her veil.

He hesitated and frowned, “I did ask that the wrong way, didn’t I?”

“Hmm..yes you did.”

“So...why do a lot of men think that women are inferior to men?”, tried Jesus again.

“You know some of the answers.”, Lilith just said.

“Well - yes. Eve was made of Adam’s rib. That is why she came second and she was the one, who ate the apple and got them thrown out of Eden ....and....girls can’t read or make math and...”

Lilith just continued making her pots, but said, “Stop...and remember what it says in the Torah. Sometimes things happening afterwards come from the first misunderstandings. So let us begin with the beginning. What does the Torah say?”

“Wait - what? From the beginning?”

“From the part where humans were made..”, Lilith said and Jesus recited, “_And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”_

“Go on”

And Jesus continued in that special way they were taught by the rabbis. Jesus could read, but was taught to recite parts by heart too, _“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”_

“So..”, said Lilith, “Was there any mentioning of ribs here? Or was Eve created long after Adam or were they created at the same time?”

Jesus frowned, “They were crated at the same time, but why...”

“Stand up on your feet, Jesus...”, said Lilith and stood up and cleaned her hand with a piece of cloth. Jesus obeyed and Lilith came over to him and asked, “Is this ok?” and touched his hand and moved it to his side. Jesus nodded.

“Feel....you do lack ribs here. “, Lilith said as she guided his hand. “They do not connect to the sternum. They are ‘floating’. You have seen that in cows and goats and sheep as well. ‘Floating’ ribs. People want explanations for things they do not understand. “Why have we those weird ribs?” and they made up an explanation. You have learned that some parts in the Torah are not God’s words, but explanations. The idea about Eve being made much later - as an exception, because of course God would make every animal with a partner - including humans as well, that would have been strange. So that part was put into the Torah much later. Remember the storytellers in Egypt?”

Jesus nodded and smiled and sat down again, “Oh yes. The story about ‘Pharaoh’s daughter and the skin-slippers’ and the story about ‘The headless thief’, they were my favourites.”

“And do you remember who you preferred to tell the stories?”, asked Lilith as she returned to her potter-wheel and began to work again.

“Hm..yes. The one by the old temple. He always did put so much more in the stories. They were more interesting that way. The one by the river always told shorter stories and they were always the same.”

“And who told the most original - the most true-to-their-origin stories?”

Jesus didn’t answer, just sat and thought for a moment and then he said, “I see. Parts of the Torah didn’t describe what happened, but what people thought happened. Some put other stories in it too. Like the story-teller. To explain things. I will have to listen with my heart to find the truth - as you have told and taught me.”

Lilith nodded and Jesus continued, “So...Eve was Adam’s equal and they were created at the same time. So there is no reason for women to be inferior to men. But...she still ate the apple!”

“Hm..and can you compare sins? Who was the guiltiest, when you and James stole my dates? James, which hands took them or you, who ate them, when he showed that he had stolen them?”

Jesus looked at her and stammered, “I..I..”

“Oh, never mind those dates. I would have given them to you if you had asked. But I am not so sure about God. If she wanted to make sure that humans didn’t eat the apples, she would have put the tree on a mountain or on the moon, wouldn’t she?”

Jesus frowned, “Maybe it was a test? And you keep on calling God ‘She’ - why?”

“Why not? She - He - They - have no gender. It is something for lower beings like us humans - or sheep - or goats - or birds or fish. So...I am just used to call God ‘She’ - but it could be ‘He’ as well. I just see no reason to encourage the male vanity more than it already is.”

“I see”, said Jesus and smiled.

“Maybe it was a test, or maybe God intended it to happen. Jesus - you know your mother has some valuable things in a box. Does she put it in the middle of the table - with the lid open - for everyone to see and touch? And then tell you that you are not supposed to as much as look inside the box?”

“No”

“Then why would God...” said Lilith and continued, “...why would God - well knowing that she had created humans to be unbearable curious and always wanting to know how things are and how they are put together - why would God make a test - make a tree as an impossible test going against the very nature of the beings, she had created?”

Jesus didn’t say anything. Just sat there - chewing on the dates, he knew he was allowed to have, as Lilith had put them just beside him. And then he stopped and said, “But it says in the Torah: “_And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.”_ So they were warned, weren’t they? And angels were guarding the tree.”

Lilith just looked at him, “Were they? All the time?” - because she knew that the angels hadn’t been there all the time. It had never been written in the Torah, but she had been there in the First Garden, and she continued, “Did the dates taste good?” and she pointed at the dates on the bed beside Jesus.

He looked at her with big eyes, “I wasn’t allowed to eat them?”

She smiled, “They were there - right beside you. Not hidden on the top of a mountain or on the moon, nor guarded by angels, who weren’t there all the time. So yes - you saw no reason not to eat them today, even if the dates you ate a few days ago, were the ‘forbidden fruit’”

He frowned at her and then he laughed, “It was as if you had expected me to come by and ask those questions today. And that is why you had put the dates there. I get it.”

She pointed at the dates and smiled, “Who was the guiltiest? Eve, who listened to the snake, who - I am rather sure - didn’t go against God’s hidden motives - and took the apple. The symbol of curiosity and the thirst for knowledge - or Adam, who as the first thing blamed Eve and wasn’t even man enough to carry the blame himself. He had just as willingly taken the second bite of the apple.”

Jesus frowned, “It was rather low of him, wasn’t it? Blaming her?” And then he paused and said, “But why were they then punished? And thrown out of Eden?”

“Maybe it did happen a bit earlier than planned. Humans are curious and they develop. We are not making pots without wheels like in the old times. We have metals for tools and not just stones and wood - and humans know how to weave fibres from plants and wool from animals. We know how to grow wine and wheat and olives. How to bake and how to build and how to make sandals. Adam and Eve didn’t know right away and didn’t use the full potential of their minds and intelligence. So maybe it was planned. We can’t know. And that leads me to the next question you had: why can’t girls read and write and understand math? Why can’t men carry children and why are men often stronger than women. Not more resilient. Just more muscles. Do you have the answer? It is connected to why men think they are superior to women.”

Jesus ate another date and then he answered, “Men - who are afraid of women, because they can carry children and that is a mystery to men - they want to be in control. So they found excuses in the Torah - or in heathen religions - to why women should be inferior. And women tolerate it, because they need protection when they carry a child and as long as the children are young. And men control women easier, when there are rules that describe what women and girls are allowed to learn. Just like people of power decide what normal people are allowed to learn and do.”

Lilith smiled at him, “Is that the truth that you feel in your heart?”

Jesus was silent and then he nodded, “I understand that not every rule necessarily is founded in the Torah and not every word in the Torah is God-given. It is what humans have written down, inspired by God. But not written by God - well apart from the Ten Commandments. God had written those down.”

“Nope She hadn’t - remember? Moses broke the stone tablets in anger and had to write them again, by heart.”

Jesus smiled as he rose and said, “I better go home. Father said he would need me for a project. And then we better believe that Moses had a good memory, right?”

Lilith smiled at him, “We will never know. Give my greetings to your mother and father and tell them that I’ll be happy to join a meal with them tomorrow, since they invited me.”

“I will..”, said Jesus and went out the door - long-limbed and almost as tall as Josef now, “...and thanks for the dates - forbidden or not.”

Lilith looked after him and thought, “He his soon going to be a man. I’ll miss him.” And she returned to her pots.

_________________________

Niaphael frowned, “But Moses didn’t remember, did he? I know at least 20 different versions of the Ten Commandments in the different Bibles and Torahs.”

And he shook his head and continued, “The Bible and other religious texts are - despite what people claim - just human words describing human experiences about meeting God in the best case - and that is filtered through the limitations of the human mind. Or in the worst case - simple fraud and pure fantasy. It should be written in Enochian to be true...and even then the limitations of memory would still alter a bit. You and I can’t even be reliable sources of historical events, as Adam found out.”

Zoley giggled, “No wonder when the only important thing about the French revolution you can remember was that the crepes were good in Paris and your very nice clothing - even your ridiculous silk shoes and silk stockings - got dirty in the dungeons, before I rescued you.”

Niaphael smiled, “Such a shame they didn’t put our meetings in the book. I would like them to have been described a bit more elaborately. If it is ever made into a film, it would be so much fun to see the actors in all the different costumes.”

Zoley laughed again, “And see if we can get the actors to act out the orgies in Rome or the baths in Greece.”

“Hush you. We never participated....together that is.”

“And that was a shame. I wouldn’t mind if we had gone a bit ‘Roman-orgy’ together.”, smiled Zoley.

“And I wouldn’t mind if we had explored the pleasures of the flesh in the baths in Greece. But if we had - Upstairs and Downstairs would have found out....and we would not have been here today.”

Niaphael rose and reached for Zoley, “But we do have a rather large bathtub and soft towels and a boiler full of warm water. And no one to keep an eye on us. So shall we?”

Zoley smiled and rose too, “We have all opportunities and are safer here and now. So let’s enjoy the pleasures of the flesh again, you hedonist.”.. and he slapped Niaphael’s rather round and delicious behind, “My story can wait.”

And the angel and the demon went into the bathroom, which now suddenly looked a bit more ancient and was significantly larger and with couches and more than one bathtub. The only thing lacking would have been the slaves willing to serve their masters with massages and ......other duties if so asked. But neither Zoley nor Niaphael had any interest in enjoying the pleasures with anybody else.


	11. A dead dog and why death exists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoley continue to tell about his time as a potter in Nazareth - and as Jesus' tutor. Something that Heaven didn't know about and Hell only believed it did.

Zo ley smiled and continued, “Well, my story, Nia. And if you want to hear it to the end, you will have to stop distracting me with your hedonistic tendencies..”, said Zoley the next morning as they were sitting comfortably on the couch in the shop. Niaphael sitting on the couch and with Zoley leaned against him and almost in his lap.

Niaphael spluttered, “MY hedonistic tendencies? What about you and what we did in the bathroom - even if our bathroom temporarily looked more like the baths in Rome. As far as I remember, you were the one who wasn’t satisfied after the first 4 times, my dear.”

“Well - how can you blame me when you were walking around almost naked and looking so delicious, Nia? And you just had to drop your towel and bend over so I could see everything after the first two rounds. How can you blame a poor demon, when an angel is so good at tempting?”

Niaphael smirked, but did try to hide it and Zoley had turned his head and saw it and pointed his finger at the angel, “You did it on purpose.”

Niaphael gave Zoley a hug and kissed the top of his head, “Well - how can you blame me when you still are ‘sex incarnated’ walking on two legs. Everything about you is sex - and still is. Your face - your hair - and I love that it is so long - your legs that continue forever and just the way you walk. How can you blame me from wanting you all the time - when we first were allowed? I had tampered down my love and I’ll have to admit ‘my lust’ too - for such a long time. We still have some things to catch up on in my opinion.”

Zoley turned and smiled and gave Niaphael a kiss and said, “Well - we have had a chance to catch up since 1990 - that is more than 21 years...”

“And we are behind with about 6000 years. So we still lack a lot of sex in my opinion...”, interrupted Niaphael.

Zoley turned his head, “Now?”

Niaphael smiled, “Maybe later, my love. I would like to hear your story. That is... unless?”

“Na...I am good for now. I wouldn’t mind waiting a few hours. So...my story. It is not going to be in a chronological order. More like after topics. So...Jesus and his brothers would often pop in and ask questions and eat my dates - or steal them. Jesus more often than James and Joses and Judas and Simon. Talking - that is - not stealing. And he was a bit different from his brothers. Not that I could sense anything divine about him - it came later - but he was more curious and more thoughtful. And maybe it was just because he was the eldest. I don’t know.”

Zoley lifted his hand and turned it around and looked at it, a bit lost in thought, “This happened when Jesus was about 9 years old, I think. He came to me with a puppy which had been hit by a wagon. You see...Josef was a carpenter and sometimes he would get injured. It could be dangerous back then, without the knowledge about bacteria and stuff - and he would come to me, because I had built a reputation not only with my pots, but with my help for pregnant women and babies - and for treating wounds. I had to be careful - it was so easy to be accused of witchcraft back then. But I always told that ‘it was something my grandmother had taught me in my country long time ago’ and ‘everybody can do what I do’ and as it turned out that they could, no one ever thought about accusing me of anything. More so because I had Josef’s and Mary’s family supporting me.”

Zoley smiled and had put his hand down and into Niaphael’s again, “... So I would treat wounds with boiled and cooled down water, vinegar, clean boiled pieces of cloth - with only a tiny amount of demonic miracle. And with honey and that stuff bees make - propolis. And I even found a way of stitching wounds together with thread. I managed to make wounds, which would have lead to a catastrophe, to be only something that scarred.”

He touched his own hand, near the base of his thumb, “Josef had a big scar here - but it didn’t affect his use of his hand.”

Zoley smiled and continued, “Even Jesus had got a nasty wound on his hand after he had tried to use some of Josef’s tools, and it had healed nicely, only leaving a very small scar - so Jesus thought highly of my abilities....”

\-----------------------

Jesus looked at Lilith with pleading eyes holding the injured little dog in his arms, “Can’t you do something, Aunt Lilith?”

Lilith rose and took the bundle out if Jesus’ hands and placed the injured little dog carefully on her bed. Then she barely touched the dog, but moved her hands over it - and took some of the pain away.

Then she looked at Jesus, “I am afraid it is too injured - that little thing. It will die...I am sorry.”

Jesus sat down beside her and reached out his hand and tried to move them, like she had done, “I don’t feel anything.”

She smiled, “You don’t have to feel - just watch. Look - it tells you by the way the eyes look and the way it breathes, that it is in pain. Then you can hear by the way it breathes that there is something wrong inside. And then you notice that it only moves its front paws - and not its hind paws - and then you can see and smell that it has peed and shit too. That tells me that the back is broken.”

Jesus looked at her and the dog licked his hand, “And we can’t do anything?”

“We can - we can be here. Make sure it is not alone. Show that we wish no harm to it and keep it company for a while. We can put it on something soft like my bed - it is not alone, it is not lying out in the dirt of the road, left to die alone. That is more than many people have, you know.”

Jesus nodded and they sat there until the dog died silently - helped a bit by Lilith taking the pain away and she made sure that it died a little bit faster.

When the dog had died, Jesus looked at her and asked, “Why do we have to die? It is not fair! Like Miriam’s little baby - it was not fair!”

Lilith took the dog and placed it on the floor, “We will bury it later, so the flies will not lay their eggs in it - or the rats eat it. And that brings me to the reason, why things have to die. Come here..” and she sat down on the bed again and padded the place beside her - and Jesus sat down and took her arm and placed it around his shoulders, “I am not too old for a hug.”, he told her and she gave him a hug and explained, “Could you imagine that the chicken or the goat or the sheep - or for that matter the wheat or the dates, they would stay alive as you ate it? And it would assemble again after you had....hm.....delivered it? And how would you then get the energy that you need from the food, if it can’t be made into the tiny bits that your body needs?”

Jesus frowned and then he nodded, “It makes sense - food-animals and food-plants. I get that. But why humans? Why did Miriam’s little boy have to die? We are not food, when we are humans. We are closer to God. But why does He then make us imperfect or wrong or makes us getting old and crazy like old Simon?”

Lilith sat for a few moments and then she tried to explain, “You do remember the tiny clay animals you made, when we lived in Egypt?”

Jesus nodded and Lilith continued, “Would you say that you didn’t try to make them perfect?”

“No...I tried my best..”

“And yet - even if you did that, then sometimes there were small flaws and failures, like in my pots sometimes, which made them break at some point. Sometimes when they were burned the first time or maybe when they were burned the second time - got their glazing on.”

Jesus frowned again and shook his head, “No...I did my best and failed sometimes. But your pots with flaws and failures - you make them on purpose. A small dent here and a wrong colour of glazing. Because then the poor people can afford your good pottery as well. I have heard you say - as you pointed at your pile of ‘broken pots’ or ‘my mistake pots’ and tell the poor people, “You can take that mistake and maybe use it...you can give me an egg for it.”

Lilith looked at Jesus - and he was right - she did that on purpose. She smiled, “You’ve got me there....well back to your small animals, if you don’t mind. They were sometimes like your broken strap on your new sandals..”

And she pointed at Jesus’ feet, where a new pair of sandals was visible, “The strap broke after only two days and of course the sandal maker replaced it. That strap had had a hidden fault - just like some of your clay animals had. Sometimes the faults in humans are very visible, like by the beggars at the temples. No eyes or deformed hands and feet. Or they are more hidden and will only show after some time. Sometimes it is in people’s minds - the flaws - and they are just wrong inside, somehow. Like some of your clay animals that would break immediately or after a few days. And then I could always show you the little bubble of air which had been trapped inside the clay and made it burst. Or a tiny little stone, which made the clay brittle.”

Jesus nodded and Lilith continued, “God is busy and only gave the possibility of life - and just like the king in a country does not know what every ant in his kingdom is doing, then God can’t keep an eye on every tiny little detail. And so many things have to be in place, so people can survive - so animals can survive. Sometimes there are flaws and failures - and sometimes they just sum up over time. Like sandals being worn out - or houses that need repair - a new roof or new clay on the walls. It is like that with humans. And small failures summing up - that is ‘ageing’ - and sometimes the ageing is not just the body, but the mind too, like old Simon, who was a good and hardworking man once and who now is ‘the best baker’ and ‘the best carpenter’ and ‘the best weaver’ and ‘the best sandal maker’ in the whole world - at least inside his own head.”

Jesus nodded and said, “And because he was once a good man, they now accept his yelling and his hitting them and his anger?”

Lilith nodded and continued, “That is why everybody in the village treats him nicely, because of what he once was. But death will be a blessing to him, as he will grow more and more ill. Remember old Hannah?”

“The old lady who almost couldn’t see and hear anymore. She died about a year after we returned from Egypt, right?

“She did and death was a blessing for her to, as it sometimes is. Miriam’s baby would not have had a good life. But we are not the ones to decide. Sometimes people with big flaws inside or outside - they can have good lives, even if we can’t see it right now.”

Jesus frowned and then he looked at her, “Then how can we humans decide that it is fine to kill people?”

“What do you mean, Jesus?”

“Last year, when we were in Jerusalem, as we are almost every year, I saw...”

And Lilith remembered what had moved Jesus so much, “You saw the crucified men..”

“Yes! And when I asked why they’d have to suffer so much - and I understand that death would be a blessing for them too - I was told they were criminals, murderers and cruel people, who only got what they deserved. But those, who crucified them - they made themselves into murderers too, didn’t they? They decided that those men deserved to die in a very cruel and agonizing way.”

“I am not sure if stoning is a more ‘gentle’ way to kill people, as the Jewish law dictates it - but let us just leave that for now. There is a difference - even if is not big - between what a single person can decide and what a whole government can decide. Sometimes a government will have to do something to maintain law and order - even if an individual pays a high price for that. It is a bit like people complaining about the Pax Romana and claim to be oppressed and abused. But Pax Romana makes sure that there are peace and law and order. People would often have wars and anarchy and no safety and security at all - just the stronger ruling and taking everything away from others on a whim. At least being under the Roman Empire means that there are rules and law and order - even if some people pay a terrible price for that. ‘The greater good’ and all that. And....”

Lilith paused and thought for a few moments if she should tell Jesus this....and then she continued, “Those on the crosses had broken the Roman laws - somehow they were seen as a danger to society - even if they were freedom fighters, who wanted an Israel without Romans. I am not sure that an Israel without Romans would be as peaceful as it is now - or as rich. But some of the people hanging there on the crosses were murderers - and some were innocent.”

Jesus frowned, “Innocent?”

Lilith nodded, “There were rumours about a man and his brother. The man had a wife and children - and a drinking problem. That is why he had killed a Roman soldier. The brother, who was unmarried, took the blame; in order to save his sister-in-law and their children and his brother.....I don’t know if it was the truth or just a rumour.”

Jesus didn’t answer right away. He just frowned and then he said, “That...that was a very brave and stupid thing to do, wasn’t it?”

Lilith smiled, “It was - and very honourable. People sometimes sacrifices things or themselves to help others. Risk their own life - and so does every mother carrying a baby in her womb. If people didn’t sometimes take a risk, the world would be a much more terrifying place to live in.”

Jesus was about to say something as he heard his mother calling, “I better run home..”

In the door he turned and looked at Lilith, “You’ll wait till I return before you burry the dog, right?”

She smiled at him, “I will..”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will finish my story - some day. It is just that life got in the way. My husband got ill and then he died after a few months - and it is almost a year ago now. He died in january. I had to close down his company without having his codes, because he didn't think it was that serious - and neither did his doctors - I had to pay the company's debts and now I am selling my much too expensive and much too big house and is moving to something much smaller. I will return writing when I land on my feet again.

I will finish my story - some day. It is just that life got in the way. My husband got ill and then he died after a few months - and it is almost a year ago now. He died in january. I had to close down his company without having his codes, because he didn't think it was that serious - and neither did his doctors - I had to pay the company's debts and now I am selling my much too expensive and much too big house and is moving to something much smaller. I will return writing when I land on my feet again.


End file.
